Day 204; Footnotes of Trust and Obey

I feel bad.

Apparently I have either lost a chunk of money, or I have put it in a safe place that is even safe from me.

A couple of weeks ago I put some money in my purse to pay for groceries. The grocery bill exceeded that amount even though I had tried to be very careful. Instead of using that money, I went ahead and used my card. Today I thought about that money and decided that I would deposit it in the bank to cover a part bit of that dental bill. It wasn’t where I put it, in fact it was nowhere in any part of my purse. I know because I dumped everything out and checked every corner and pocket and everything that was in there.

Alright, I had to have taken it out and put it in a safe place. I checked all my usual safe places. Three times. I was on my fourth trip around when mom called, for probably the fourth time today. I was exasperated because of not having found that money, but I tried to be polite. It was mom after all. From the way she talked, she must have picked up on my frustration and told me what she wanted to and hung up. Great. I’ll need to apologize tomorrow.

 In the end, I gave up the search. With it being nowhere in any of my usual places in the house, I fear I have lost it somewhere, somehow. How, could I have been so careless? Did I deposit it already? I checked my account and didn’t see that amount. What ever happened to it, I can’t let myself worry. If I lost it, there is nothing that can be done. If I have it stashed somewhere, maybe it will turn up at a time when it is the most needed.

 One thing I did manage today, after grocery shopping and getting my kitchen all spiffy, was figure out how to get sound from my television. My son had given me a nice speaker for Christmas last year. Some how or other I managed to cause it not to work. Not really difficult for me but frustrating. I finally followed the cables and yanked the one out of the television. I was listening to the sound directly from the television which annoys my son, but at least I was hearing something. He got the speaker working again after he got in from work. I was calm about it though and not allowing it to get me all bent out of shape. Even though I did tell my son that I had killed it.

 I’m still having to watch what I eat thanks to my jaw healing from the tooth extraction. I asked my son and he agreed to tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. One of the best comfort foods out there.

  Today, gave me the opportunity to be one way or the other. I could be calm. Or I could panic. I could be patient. I kind of failed that one. Sorry mom. I could be trusting believing that no matter what, everything will be okay. God will provide. I have to believe, trusting in my faith and knowledge that everything will work out. My focus needs to not be on the things of this earth, but on Heavenly things.

 I need to remember, that those whose faith may not be as strong yet, or who may not believe, see me acting in fear and worry rather than trust, then they may wonder why they should believe. Our actions are our witness more than our words.

 I’ll take time in a few minutes, spending time in the Word, feeding my soul as the soup fed my body. I’ll allow it to calm me, reassure me, show me, that everything will work out to the glory of God. That as He has provided in the past, He will provide now. All I need remember, is to trust and obey.