When was the last time I was outraged? Oh yes, I remember, I was a real jerk during that time. I acted like a self-centered, spoiled brat who hadn’t gotten their way and was going to make sure everyone around me suffered. Looking back now, I am very embarrassed over that. I am better and stronger than that. I want to say that emotions don’t control me, at least not that one.
My moment of outrage, was brought on by a feeling of betrayal. It was personal. Or at least I took it to be personal. Was it? Was I seeing things that weren’t there? Or was what I was seeing, meant to be what I took it as? None of that matters now, only that I trust that I have moved beyond that point of being so easily injured. Especially since the entirety of my online presence saw that moment.
I think, that as humans possessing human emotions, it is not difficult to find ourselves at a point of outrage. When we think that we have been wronged in some fashion. When we feel, that we have every right to be angry, and we may. The thing here, is not to be angered to the point of losing control. (See any example of actions by a so called Karen)
We can however be outraged in a constructive manner. Wait, what? What and how? In no particular order and in no way complete:
Human indecencies. The mistreatment of any individual or group. The abuse of anyone no matter their age. The wrongs done to one who is of a different nationality, gender, faith, political belief…and any other description here.
Environmental abuse. When we take and take and take from the world around us without consideration and correction. When we clear cut mountainsides of trees or dig massive holes in landscapes. When we destroy the rain forest or dump garbage in the seas.
Animal abuse. Animals have intelligence. Animals have heart and spirit. Animals have souls. To deliberately injure or cause injury to an animal is wrong- just wrong.
I tried to mention these in a way that covers as much as possible in a few words. I tried to say, look at this and think. How did you speak to the person waiting on you at the drive up window? How did you treat them, when you had to wait? How did you treat the homeless person who was standing there, holding the sign asking for help? Don’t worry about whether they are real or a lie. don’t worry about how they will use the money. Maybe, they were put there, real or scam, to test your heart. How did you treat the child who made a little too much noise or wasn’t the cleanest? What did you do, when you saw the stray walking down the road near your home?
Outrage is an extreme emotion. It is a powerful emotion. It can control us, making us appear to be a jerk like it did me. Or it can be a very powerful tool to work toward creating a better society and life. It is our choice.
Blessed is a free style book of inspirational poetry.
The Legend was supposed to be a Young adult fantasy novel, but to my amazement and joy, people of all ages who have read it enjoyed the book. I know it was a blast to write. I have a dear friend who created that cover especially for this book.
That isn’t exactly how that saying goes, but it works.
When my husband was still alive and driving that truck, he became very insecure. All he kept hearing was about all the other truck drivers whose wives cheated on them. To calm his fears and to prevent any chance of anyone saying something untrue, I was very careful in who I associated with.
Male coworkers were kept at a distance and conversations were limited to work related issues. There were a very few, I would have actual non-work related conversations. My husband knew those and were friends as well with most.
Outside of work, I was very careful in how I spoke and acted around men. My husband knew he could trust me, but I knew him. All it would take would be one whispered lie and he would wonder and doubt, so I was careful and very selective.
My husband has been dead four years. I’m still careful and selective in who I allow in my life. I guess old habits die hard.
I was thinking about that today though. The people okay men, that I have allowed in my life over the last four years. Even when it was merely a friendship, which they all have been, I have realized that I tended to focus on that friendship and that friendship alone. To the exclusion of everything and everyone else. I have spent hours on the phone talking with people. My son would walk in and see me on the phone, later he would pass by and I would still be on the phone. He would ask me, what we would have to talk about that long. With some people, its not difficult at all.
But When you do this, when you focus solely on one, the possibility is great that you are unknowingly causing problems for yourself. When you grow too dependent on one individual, and suddenly that individual is no longer there, what then? When you stand and stare out the window, holding a silent phone. Longing and missing the conversation that few others would understand. The topics covering known and not so know information. Discussing the definite and the possible maybe probably even when it seems far fetched.
Today, as I was out walking in my thinking circle I was considering this. How I had limited myself. I remembered my mother telling me of a conversation that she had with my brother after my husband’s death. She was talking about how she was blessed that she had good children and that none were wild. To which my brother responded, “Becky is single now, she can go wild.” She had to add that he was joking. I wasn’t so sure but never brought it up with him.
I realized though, that I have no desire to ‘go wild’ but I need to stop putting limits on myself. I’m not looking for love or a romantic relationship, but friends. And I am in a position where that is not only allowed, but encouraged by my son. He has grown weary of my reclusive ways, and to be fair, so have I.
But I think, that is some ways, many of us do this. We find something or someone to focus on to the exclusion of everything else. It may be a person, it may be a job, it may be a hobby, or any number of other things. We get this tunnel vision, life and lose track of everything else. Coming out of that tunnel and back into real life can be a very rude awakening. Especially if we have allowed other important things to suffer.
Which is why I am trying to join in more. I went to a Jeep group fundraising event this morning, I joined a secret jeep sister group, I joined a support your local firefighter group. I need to start going back to church and not just watch the online. My mind also wandered off into one of those odd pondering moments that I’ll write about later. I’m still working on exactly how to phrase that one. So I’m trying not to put all of anything in one basket…and one blog.
As I sit here, the sun is creating streaks of light across my back yard, I can hear the birds all around performing their morning serenade. My son has not yet awakened, the only sound in the house is the occasional click from the coffee pot. I’m watching two of the used to be feral but not yet tame cats playing in the spots of grass in the backyard. My dogs are out front, sprawled out and watchful while I sit here with my coffee.
Out back there is a swing that is several years old, that I have placed cushions on. Later, I may make my way out there to sit and enjoy what is my slice of heavenly peace. The cats may not like that, but by that time they will have probably returned to where they hide during the day.
After the past year, I have come to realize how I have been denying myself this gift. The gift of peace, of calm, of quiet. I was always so busy, to work, to errands, to responsibilities, always moving. I neglected to realize, how important it is, to simply sit, and listen. To take a good book outside, and read or not. To have music, soft, restful music that allows your heart and soul to relax and heal from all of that rushing about. To allow the mind to calm and not be constantly firing off all of those needed thoughts and actions.
For a while, I had solar lights along my fence out front. Cheap lights only last so long, but for a while, I could sit and watch as they came on at dusk, as they brightened up a section of my yard for a while. I have a small store bought fire pit and I enjoy watching the flames of a fire. To feel the warmth, but to watch the light as it dances and moves, taking you to a place of calm. To hear the crackle of the wood as it burns. To sit in the otherwise dark, hearing the sounds of nature around me. Is magical and peaceful.
There are many ways, to give yourself those moments. Each individual different in what brings them peace. Some times with others, often alone. We don’t have to wander out into the wilderness, but those times are a wonderful experience. We can find ways to make peace in the midst of our personal chaos. A quiet room, a balcony, a walk around the block. To find time to meditate, to pray, to find balance.
The important thing, is that we find it, that we create and allow those moments for our mind and body to find healing in the quiet.
My neighbors are not the quietest of people. One has a car stereo that he plays so loudly I have been calling him Thumper because you hear that bass before you see his vehicle. Another plays the drums. I could allow that to disturb my quiet, but I have learned to ignore and allow. I do not live on this road alone. Peace is also accepting that fact of life. We share this planet, this country, a town, a neighborhood with others. They will have their own ways to find their peace, we have to learn to find ways to live with them, as we find our quiet. The focus on what we need, peace.
When we learn how to create the calm, the quiet in our lives, those moments when we allow ourselves rest, then, our lives become much more peaceful, much better, much happier.
Every once in a while, I have one of those days when my motivation is flat lined. I sat here today, staring out the window doing a lot of nothing. Well, that’s not fully accurate.
I did spend a good bit of time reading blogs and acknowledging everyone’s amazing efforts and work. I learned some things, I saw amazing photographs, and I looked out the window. I talked with mom a couple of times, she would think of something and call, then later think of something else..and call. We’d talk and then I’d look out the window.
I did feed the cats, twice. The black cat that is a mom, and may have moved her babies under my house, has been hanging around more so I fed her. I told my son that maybe if I get her accustomed to me, we will be able to at least save her babies and they won’t end up as at risk kitties. Only time will tell.
I wandered through some emotional labyrinths. Memories, feelings, thoughts, those things that threaten to drag you down if you allow it, which I didn’t. The sun was bright, the weather wonderful, and I had hot coffee.
We’re not always going to have those days when everything goes all sunshine and roses. We are going to have the lonely, quiet, sad, moments when we dream and wish. And stare out the window.
The one cat that had been allowing us to hold him, hasn’t been seen in nine days. I’m beginning to believe he isn’t coming back. Anything could have happened or nothing could have happened and he may show up tomorrow. Only time will answer that one.
I was supposed to, and wanted to attend a Jeep event today, but got busy writing (and staring out the window) and lost track of time and suddenly it was too late. I didn’t have the money to eat out anyway. Taxes to pay on that unemployment I drew. Its all good though. So since I didn’t do much, how about some random photos?
No one is ever going to believe this, I wonder if I would even dare to try and tell this if I ever get the opportunity. With my head lowered, I was clinging to the back of a Polar Bear of all things, holding tightly to a puppy who appeared quite content while the world seemed to fly by in a swirl of colors.
Why me? How is it I always seem to find myself in situations such as this? A Polar Bear. Polar Bears are not native to the Wood. Not just any Polar Bear, this one seems to be able to break all known and some unknown land speed records. Where in all that is magical, were we going? With my head down in hopes of preventing being slapped by branches or innocent insects I had no idea where we even were. For all I knew we could have left the Wood.
Slowly and carefully I turned my head to try and see if I recognized anything. The path the bear was following was familiar. I knew where this lead if he followed it logically, but I was on a Polar Bear, holding a puppy, there was no logic here.
Suddenly the bear began to slow, finally its pace was a normal walk. Like one strolling along a green way enjoying their surroundings. What was up with this? Sitting up I looked around, it figured. The bear had left the trail and was ambling aimlessly through the Wood.
“Where are we going?” I asked, hoping for an answer from someone. Whether it was the bear, the missing dragonfly or that disembodied voice that shows up from time to time.The bear turned its head and looked back at me, “Somewhere special”
.”But the whole Wood is special.”
That darn grin again from a bear, “Okay, somewhere extra special.”
“How far is it?”
“Not far” and with that, the bear turned away and ambled on along. No hurry now, just a slow, a snail could move faster pace.
“How far is not far?” I asked, a bear who was obviously no longer listening.
“We’re about half way.” came a smallish voice.I looked down at the puppy stretched out comfortably on my arm who was, yes, also grinning. And apparently talking.
“Oh now aren’t you the Joker.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, besides, isn’t that what you usually tell everyone who asks as you hike the mountain?”
How in all that is magic, would this puppy know that? Looking away from the puppy I asked the bear, “Are we there yet?”
“Nope,” came the response, “enjoy the view, we’ll get there when it is meant for us to arrive.”
Enjoy the view he says. I’ve walked these woods all my life, I know the view. Yet when I looked up I was surprised. This was different. The blue of the sky seemed to be reaching down and in a magical grasp have joined with the creeks. As we walked, we passed through the joining, but remained dry. I looked back at what looked for all the world to be a curtain of water, but, we were dry.
Turning back to face forward I looked at where the path turned toward the right. As we made our way around the curve, along the sides, what should have been a bare hillside was covered in bright yellow flowers. “Did the sun cry and its tears create these?”
The puppy giggled but the bear shrugged. Help me I had no idea a bear could shrug.
As the path took an upward slope I held tighter to its fur. This adventure was growing more odd by the moment. I knew this hill though, or I thought I did. Of course I also thought I knew the path, but the path I knew was not lined by flowers. Topping the hill the bear stopped. I glanced over the bear’s shoulder and looked beyond.
Before us, was a pond that wasn’t small, but couldn’t actually be considered large. The fact it was there, when it shouldn’t be wasn’t so much the surprise. What was odd, was it was purple. Water isn’t purple. But then, the sky doesn’t meet the creeks and flowers don’t grow from drops of sun, I mean sure, purple. Why not?
As I looked at the pond, the bear began walking again. Taking careful steps down the hillside and toward the purple watered pond. Why did the sky not reach down to this? Oh, wait, this was purple, not blue. As the bear walked, the puppy had moved and was resting on the top of the bear’s head watching the landscape passing. What seemed strange, maybe stranger as all of this was strange, was that the pond never seemed to get any closer no matter how long we walked. The bear was moving, trees were being passed, the ground changed under foot. Yet the pond never got closer. It stayed just within sight, but just out of reach. And still the bear walked.
“Are we there….. yet?” the words slipped out unbidden.The bear and the puppy ignored me. After a few minutes I saw the dragonfly suddenly appear before me. “Remember, adventure…and lessons.” and then was gone.
What on earth kind of lessons could I possibly be learning riding on the back of a Polar Bear with puppy, who both talk only when they want to, and no matter how long we keep walking we get nowhere? This is beginning to make me feel like an odd brick in a wall. Misplaced and not fitting in. Patience. The realization came suddenly. I was being taught patience. But why?
The puppy turned and as if it had heard my thoughts, spoke, “that, is the adventure.”
I’m sitting here staring at that title, and I am contemplating that word, strong. Am I, strong?
As I went through the cancer battle, and afterwards, I was told I was strong. Even as most only knew what they saw. They saw me accept the diagnoses. They saw me accept the treatments. They saw me deal with the effects of those treatments. They did not see, the person behind the curtain. The person who plodded on, stubbornly and with determination. The person who would have loved a moment of help, but would not -actually absolutely refused- to ask for any.
It is like a compliment, if it isn’t offered voluntarily and freely, it is not a gift but a considered obligation. So I stumbled, bumbled,, struggled along. And I made it through.
What made it more difficult, was at the very same time, my husband was looking for work. I was determined to help in the quest. I would go in to work, go for a radiation treatment, come home to prepare supper and then go online to search for places to put in applications.
There was one at work though, every day the plant manager would make it a point to come find me, to see how I was.
Every day. I was told I was strong. But… it wasn’t my strength.
When I got the call that my husband had been found dead in his truck. The truck was parked at a truck stop idling, he was on his bunk slumped forward as if he were tying his shoe. (It just dawned on me that if I am correct, and I’ll need to check, but my paternal grandfather was found the same way. Sitting on a cedar chest, slumped over as if tying his shoes in preparation for going to church.)
I had to face getting his body home. I had to face all the dozens of things one has to face on the death of a loved one. Family helped what they could, but when they went home, when they hung up the phone or ended a message, I was sitting here in a quiet room, out on a quiet porch, alone.I was told often, I was strong…but it wasn’t my strength.
On March twenty-seventh of 2020, I answered the phone call that informed me I no longer had a job. The statement the day before that I was essential, had been untrue. I was a boat whose anchor rope had broken and I was set adrift.
I found ways to get everything taken care of as far as unemployment, as far as handling the roll over of my 401K with the help of a wonderful financial advisor. The difficult part, was now the daily connection I had with people, was broken. I had to learn how to deal with the lack of a schedule. I had a freedom that I had never had.I learned how to make use of my day. I learned how to help mom and dad respectfully and allow them to keep their sense of worth.I finally realized that the comment that I would be called back to work, was as untrue as the comment on being an essential worker. I decided to go ahead and take early retirement so to be here for my parents.
The hard part has been the loneliness.I have been told, I am strong…but in truth, it hasn’t been my strength.
I know, where my strength comes from….
When I walked back into the plant where I worked right after having a needle biopsy, I knew. I didn’t have to wait for the results, I knew. I walked through the department where I worked, stood beside a box and whispered, “I don’t want to go through this.” Immediately, as clear as any conversation, I heard, “How dare you? How dare you not want to do this for me,, after all I have done for you?”I knew then, that what ever came, I was not alone. Even at my lowest, my most afraid, I wasn’t alone. Every day was a gift. Every afternoon when I walked to have that moment of peace, there was a different gift waiting. A new flower, butterfly, deer, something to remind me, I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t easy, but then life isn’t meant to always be easy. Our journey has difficulties. It is those, that are there to strengthen us.
When my husband died and as I fought to get his body home from out of state, the emptiness was tangible. The silence at times nearly unbearable. One night, just before sleep claimed me, I heard him call me. I shoved back the covers and started to get out of bed it was that real. Then I remembered. But as I lay back down, I was comforted. A couple of days later, as I was looking for a new dress for the funeral, as I crossed a parking lot empty of other people, I smelled the cologne he always wore. I looked around to be sure, I was alone in the parking lot and I was. Then there was the moment in the big box store when I looked up and inside the store, near the ceiling was one of the largest butterfly I have ever seen. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t dealing with, I wasn’t facing this, alone.
When I found myself without employment, I felt as if I had been thrown away like yesterday’s unwanted trash. Slowly I began to understand that I had been taken out of that place, as a gift. I was given the time to learn and grow. I was taken out of a situation where my time was controlled, where later I was left exhausted. I may have been cut free from a scheduled life, but I was set free onto an ocean of growth and adventure.
I have always said that in faith, there is a difference in religion and relationship. I had a relationship with the Lord. But, in truth, at the time it was not as strong as it could have been as far as the deep understanding. The feelings of being close.Now, after countless conversations, a multitude of prayers, I have gained much, even as there is much yet to be learned. I understand, and accept why I was set free. Even as I still struggle on some things, I am getting better. For I know, it is not my strength, for I am weak, I am fallible, but He, is strong and He, is always with me. https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Strength-Of-God
I’m not a happy gardener. I had planted cucumbers the other day…I really, really love fresh garden cucumbers…I mean, really. But, when I went down to the garden today, the ones I had planted, had all died. They had looked so good when I planted them. There were several other plants that also didn’t look all that healthy. I know that I am going to have to go down there on a more regular basis to check on the plants and make sure they are well watered when we don’t have rain.
It makes me think though about seeds of another sort. The seeds we plant in our life.
Before we can plant, we need to prepare. While in a physical garden we prepare the soil, in life we prepare ourselves. We learn about ourselves, the person we are, and what we are capable of and best at doing.
We can teach, we can encourage, we can offer to help where needed. But we need to make sure that we are ready. That we have the right knowledge, abilities and attitude. One cannot grow, if one doesn’t have the right knowledge and tools. Attitude being a tool.
You may not necessarily wish to teach, but more to share. To help others to find ways to grow themselves, through your words and actions. For them to see how you handled a situation, allowing them to understand how they may go about the things needed for their way to be better.
I believe, that as long as we have a basic understanding of our personality, and are comfortable that we are the best person that we can possible be, we should be able to plant a beautiful life garden.
With a smile. Yes, behind face coverings they are difficult to see, but not if you look at the eyes. You can see a real, genuine smile in the eyes. A smile, is a wonderful greeting.
A kind word, an acknowledgement of those around you. A simple hello, how are you, glorious day. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. And, there will be some who don’t respond. Don’t let it bother you. You may have planted a seed after all. They may respond to the next person.
An offer of assistance. Hold a door open, let someone know if they dropped something. If they can’t reach an item and will accept help, help.
Be kind to the people who are working at stores, restaurants, gas stations. Even if they are rude, no need to return in like fashion.
Be kind, its easier, its better, it grows prettier flowers later.
We may never know, what our actions, our words, may grow. When we are kind. When we are not, its obvious as the results are immediate. But kindness, compassion, all the emotions and actions that show positive things, again, you may not see the results, but someone will.Plant that flower of kindness, compassion, love. The world really needs them right now.
On the way up, we didn’t pass many people. There was this one middle age couple where the man took one look at Bella and said, “That dog looks tired already” he missed it, but Bella gave him a sideways look. If he was going on her panting, she always does that. I don’t push her, nor do I allow her to push herself. There is no need for it, and why take the health risk?
We got part way up the steps and met a couple who were resting on a bench. A man was coming down, Bella and I moved out of the way and watched him go. We stood and talked with the couple and then headed on up.
When we arrived at the top, it was glorious! The sky nice and clear and you could see for miles.
When we headed down, we passe several people, speaking to everyone, whether just a quick hello or a real conversation. I was having a blast, and I know Bella was because of how many people said she was a pretty dog.
At one point on the way down, since we were alone on the road, my mind began to wander about. I will warn you in advance, my mind wandering about, can be a worrisome thing.
If there are levels of dimensions, which one are we currently in? Is this life, really a sort of matrix? If there are dimensions, does the way we live, bring about the progression to the next or is it possibly a timed event? How do we know, who do we seek out, where do we find accurate information?
I have read, that we are energy, in a physical body. The physical body, needs food, water, breath. I have read, that while many are waiting and watching for the appearing of Jesus, He is already here, within us. I know, that after His ascension back into Heaven, the Holy Spirit was sent to be with and within Believers.
The article though, seemed to read as if Jesus has already returned and is with us. That we are within the midst of the seven year tribulation period. If we are indeed energy, in a body that needs food, water, light, breath, and Christ is these things. Is He already here, or was the article mistaken and it is the Holy Spirit with us until Christ’s return.
What does that have to do with dimensions? Are we, spiritual beings of energy, who are living here seeking to create…better? If so, how many know this? Are we meant to know this? Are all, spiritual beings and if not, who or what are the others and how does one tell them apart?
Is this life, the world in which we live, really only the manifestation of our energies and thoughts? We think it, so it is. But, it was when we were children growing and learning, long before we would ever think of such things.
Faith says, believe and it will be so. If you have faith and say to this mountain move..it will move. So, if we believe we can pass our hand through a wall, our foot through a tree, that we could climb a waterfall, can we? Peter walked on water: https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Matthew-14-29/
Then there is the flat earth thing, is it round? Is it flat? Have we been told true, or lied to all this time? Why would we be told it was round, if it was indeed flat? Why create such an elaborate hoax? If it is round, why are so many so dead set sure it isn’t? Is it flat, with a protective covering so that we really cannot leave? If so, and there are beings on other planets, how would they get inside? Would they really want to, unless they are checking to see if we have destroyed each other yet. For what reason, would it be deemed important that we believe one thing, if the other is true? What powers would one derive from such a thing?
I have seen where photos of the horizon have been used to prove the flat earth theory. Now, I am not going into space, nor do I have access to a balloon to send up into space. All I have are the videos posted of my own limited views of the horizon from places like the beach or the top of the mountain. Those limitations do not allow for the curve that supposedly is missing to prove the world is not flat.
If it is or isn’t, what if anything does that have to do with quantum physics..or does it? Where do black holes fit into this? If the world is flat and covered with a shield, and supposedly you are unable to actually see a black hole, how do we know they truly exist? Are black holes, that draw things to them, where they cannot escape the gravitational force and are eventually, supposedly torn apart…a form of evil?
And what about the wind? We know it exists because we feel it against out skin, we see it move through the trees or grass, the way it pushes a sail, but where does it begin?
If we are, energy moving through dimensions, seeking to become light and or energy, what is the best way to accomplish this? Do we do this through our thoughts or actions or both? If we see and seek beauty, if we see and seek truth, kindness, compassion, if we seek and show love, does that progress us quicker? If we seek, are we more apt to find?
If our thoughts are dark, do we attract dark? Do we in our thoughts, create evil things?
If our thoughts attract, and our thoughts are good, are we moving forward, bringing more light to a world growing dark? Slowing the darkness or even better, helping the return of light?
And if it is the acts of love that move us forward, how far separate is that from faith? To believe in Creator God, and all that has been given us, a world filled with plants, animals, land and sea..instructed to live a life of faith. A faith that teaches goodness, compassion, hope, love. Is that light? Is that energy? Is that what is next, or just the wanderings of a contemplative mind, once again fallen down a rabbit hole with no one to discuss the possibilities…
Yes, silly is today’s word prompt. I am beginning to believe I love to torment myself with words that sound good as I’m writing them down, or I write as a filler thinking I’ll come up with a better later. Only that wouldn’t be fair would it? To write a word only to say, Nope, not that one when it comes time to use it in a blog. Even though, I have been sitting here for quite a while trying to figure out which direction I want to go with this word. I think, I will go with as the title says, silly.. not silly. Meaning, that some of the things we may think are silly, but in truth, are not.
Playing. Yes, even as so called adults. Physically we may grow older, but having a young heart is important. Don’t ever be too afraid to dance in the rain or the resulting puddles. Jump, splash, kick. Get wet, you won’t melt, but I bet if you really allow yourself to have fun with it, you will laugh.
Get down on the floor and push cars around with the kids, build things with blocks, have a tea party. Enjoy a Mad Hatter moment. You will be having a bonding moment with your kids as well as the inner child you have been neglecting. Your heart will thank you.
Fly a kite, go fishing, build an obstacle course in your back yard or living room. Make paper streamers and hang them around everywhere. Play!
Find a spot in your back yard, in a park, on the beach, on the side of the mountain, and stretch out and look at the sky. Pick out the cloud shapes, watch the butterfly and listen to the birds. Watch the ants or other insects as they make their way along. But oh the moments at night. Enjoy the stars, watch for that falling star to make a wish. Allow the peace of the moment to slide on in and make itself at home. Feel the change in the air, dream big.
Find water and a flotation device of your choosing, depending on the water. Allow yourself to drift and dream. Splash, kick, look for fish, or smooth rocks or shells.
Watch an animated or G rated movie. Whether with kids or alone. Laugh freely, laugh loudly. Immerse yourself in the movie and allow it to take you to where the big kid lives and allow them their moment.
Tell goofy jokes, slip in those one liners. Find something to poke a bit of fun- where there is no risk of misunderstanding. Example. Back in that former lifetime when I worked, I noticed through a window that a case that had came in, had scrawled across the box “No pig” now, in reality, it meant no pigment, I knew that. Instead I asked a passing coworker, if since that box had no pig inside, should I be disappointed if there were no pigs in the other boxes? Would I have a right to complain? I don’t know why my coworkers avoided me at times.
Dress as you like, sing as you will, dance as if everyone is watching and you simply do not care. Live fully, laugh readily, love without fear. And be silly not silly because in the end, all that matters is you have lived.