July Twenty-fourth; The Two Sides of Acceptance

Is acceptance, a form of defeat? Or is it a catalyst toward change?

Say we find ourselves in a situation that is not good. We have two options. We can accept and linger, or we can seek ways to escape where we are. We can accept the fact that where we are is not the best location, but not accept the idea that it can’t be altered. The important thing is assessing the situation and seeing what is needed to make the changes necessary. We are only as trapped as we allow ourselves to become. It is important though to understand that some changes may come about quickly, while others take time.

I will use myself as an example, because it is easier to give myself permission and I’m not risking breaking any confidences.

If you have read much of my writings, by now you know that the marriage I was in before being married to my late husband, was not a good relationship. He was an alcoholic who was a mean, cruel drunk. I really don’t think I need to go into any details of that side of things.

 I did have a job, I worked approximately forty hours a week answering the phone for a small construction shop,for one hundred dollars a week. Seriously. I really didn’t do much so I didn’t complain. I tried to use as much as I could for food, but of course there was the alcohol. I learned that if I drank, even just a little, I was on his level and the abuse didn’t materialize. If I was not drinking, I was a target. It became a weird game of survival. One that became dark and fearsome. I fell into an acceptance of this was my fate. It was when I reached the bottom, that night when I thought it was going to be my last, that my acceptance shifted.

 I did not accept this as my fate. I did not accept the fear that my family would be getting the call that something horrible had happened. I had to change that. A plan was worked out and set into motion and I escaped. I’m trying to give a condensed version for time, and word limits. Once I arrived safely home, I accepted the fact that life was making yet one more change and it would work toward the positive. I got a job, a car, and a new perspective. All of the changes were a step forward. One major thing that happened, is that all desire to drink anything alcoholic was left behind with that relationship. 

 When my husband died, there were many things that I had to accept. Many things that had to be learned or unlearned. Accepting my status change was odd and difficult. It took a while for me to learn a degree of comfort in my solitary life. I had to learn, to be happy in my own company and that took a lot of thought, a lot of learning what made me content and even happy.

The thing is, we all will face something that we will have to accept in one way or another. We can accept where we are, or we can seek to change the situation.

 If we don’t like our job, for any of the myriad reasons out there, it is up to us to decide, do we accept or seek to change? To change may need getting training in a different field, educating our self better in where we are so to seek employment in the same field but different company. To learn more and improve who we are making who we are more capable and more interesting to other employers. 

We may be in a bad relationship. Depending on what the issues are, one may be able to leave on their own, or they may need assistance. You may need somewhere to run to until you can fully get back on your feet again. 

You may want to play a sport, or a musical instrument, or act or write or any other activity, but wonder if you are good enough? No matter what your interest, it takes work. It takes practice. It takes determination. It takes not accepting the good enough, but seeking the better. Professional and Olympic athletes spend not only hours but years honing their skills. It is the same with any other endeavor.

 There may be people who come into your life, who mean a great deal to you, only to disappear. Who may remain, but do things that cause you pain and problems. It is important to learn when to accept that they aren’t good for you and to walk away.

Accept that God does love you and wants a relationship with you.

I gave my life to Christ as a youth. As  teenager I began slipping away. As a young adult I really lost my direction. After my now late husband and I married and were expecting my son, I felt the familiar calling. When my son was a youngster, I had my first article appear in the local paper. The night it appeared, I prayed, “God, show me where you want to to go with this. Show me Your way.” The next day, I received a post card from the church I had not attended in years, inviting me back. The following Sunday I returned to church and haven’t regretted a moment. It has been a continual growth as I seek and walk the path He has intended for me. I have learned so much, gained so much understanding and along the way, He has provided for our needs. Because I accepted an invitation.

We can accept our life or our situation if we choose. We can accept the understanding that we can change that situation. We can accept that we are never, ever, alone or abandoned. Even when we think we have wandered too far. There are two sides to acceptance. It need not be a coin toss for us to decide which we prefer.

The right path, is narrow, with many twist, turns, hills and valleys. It is a struggle, it is a teaching event. It is a walk that will make you stronger, don’t be afraid to choose it.