Day349; Footnotes of What Ever Will Be

Excuse me?

As I was preparing the dog’s food tonight the outside cats wanted something as well. I had some leftovers in the fridge that I took out to them. The second I opened the door, Slash strolled right on inside. Not simply onto the porch, but through the open door into the house. He was making himself fully at home. Even allowing me to pick him up and carry him through. My mistake was opening my son’s door. The noise startled Slash and he was ready and determined to leave. I set him down and he headed through the house as if he owned the place. Out onto the back porch and at the door. I let him back out and turned to look at my son. No. I do not want another indoor cat. Cricket would not accept another and I’m not going to try and force her. There is also the fact that the dogs only know and accept Cricket. I hate to imagine the destruction if they suddenly saw Slash inside.

I took mom shopping for a few things she needed today. There’s no way I’d let her go alone this time of year, its simply too busy and too crazy. We found everything that she wanted and I remembered the tea I needed. The box on the shelf looked as if it had been mistreated in life. I searched through the others and then looked to the top shelf. There..sitting pretty as you please just out of reach, was the tea I was wanting. A few feet away was a store employee. I asked if there was anyone who could help me and she said she could. She got the box for me, mom and I both thanked her and we went on our way. One box won’t last long, I’ll have to look for more but now I have time.

What is so special about this tea? Its an herbal blend to help you sleep. It actually is working. I had been taking cold medicine at night to help me sleep. I can go to sleep quick enough, I just don’t sleep through the night. The cold medicine was working, but I had taken it for so long I was suffering some ill effects. I had to find something that would help me sleep better so as not to awaken multiple times through the night. I decided I’d give the tea a try. I also stop drinking coffee a few hours before bed time. Last night I took another step and closed the curtains that are beside my bed. Tonight I’ll close the ones across the room. The past few nights, I’ve been sleeping much better. I do still awaken if I get too hot or cold, or if the cats get into a fight under my bedroom. Bella will hear them and jump down off the bed to investigate. Still, the tea is beginning to help and that’s amazing.

I am dealing with high emotions. Sometimes being empathic is hard. When there is so much pain around you. Loss of your own, the loss of others. Friends struggling through their own battles. Family dealing with their own issues. When there are accidents with injury, when there are storms with so much destruction. When emotions are so strong, you can’t help but pick up on those energies and have your own battles.When you are feeling, as I am, a time of deep grief. My husband has been gone almost five years, there are still those moments when I miss him terribly. Missing the conversations, the hugs, the time spent together.  Missing my brother who always loved to give me a hard time and was so good at being the annoying younger brother. 

Frustrated because you want to do so much, give more, but can’t. I did manage to get something for my son. I got what mom said she wanted, but I still have to see about getting something for dad. Otherwise I think I’m done shopping. The thing bothering me, so deeply, is that the Jeep group I am part of is collecting donations to take to Kentucky. I’m sitting here with little to no extra cash. I don’t work nor get out much so I have no one to ask about donations. I see the others bringing in so much, and I have nothing. And that bothers me. I am excited and overjoyed at what has been collected so far. Happy for the ability people have to be able to give so much. Wishing I could do something, anything to help.

As it is, even as I make my way through an emotional storm, I know it has been a good day here. My family is well, that is the most important for me right now. If it should be that I can collect donations (and I have been contacted by one who will try) then so much the better. If I can’t, then I will pray for their journey and that they make it there and back safely. Tomorrow, Lord willing, is another day.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
This entry was posted in animals, Cats and Kittens, dogs, encouragement, faith, family, inspiration, life's journey, memories, sleep, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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