Day 80- page 80-Differences and Avoiding Confrontation

One of the most difficult things to do, is dealing with people. Lets face it, we’re very complex. We never know how the people around us are going to act at any given moment. There are times, when we may even surprise or dismay ourselves by our own actions while dealing with others.

It is easy, to get along with people who are fun to be around. Those who live on an even keel no matter what happens. People around them are losing their collective minds, but they merely smile and soldier on. Calm, cool and collected, they make their way through the confusion, calming those around them. They manage, in their own quiet perseverance, to turn chaos into calm.

It is easy, to get along with, and enjoy spending time with those who know how to laugh and have a good time. Whether you are doing simple or complex things. Those who enjoy the same things that you do, or who can draw you into enjoying the things that they like. Going out to eat, to concerts whether at big arenas or small town nights where you bring your lawn chairs and visit with friends and neighbors. Enjoying professional sporting events, or backyard ball games. Whether it is simple things or extravagant, when you can laugh and relax, its an easy time.

But, what about those who are not easy going or don’t handle rough events easily? Those folks are much more difficult to be around. Not impossible mind you, especially if you stop and take the time to understand where they or their hurt is coming from.

Family events, where one may feel as if they are treated like a black sheep or less than, not as important than, can hurt feelings. When you are there, and ignored. When you are there, and someone gets obnoxious. Someone, who doesn’t know the proper ways to express opinions or accept that others have different opinions and arguments ensue. Someone who has chemical addictions or mental health issues can and often will cause problematic situations. Some which family or friends can diffuse, some where authorities will need to be called to assist and calm a bad situation.

In public places dealing with people and their differences can be a real nightmare. In public you are dealing with a large variety of personalities. Those who are easy to get along with, to those who are spoiling for a fight. You meet those who laugh at the thought of being offended by anything and those on edge, waiting to be offended by everything. You meet those who are quick to help, quick to let you pass by them, quick to be friendly. then you meet their opposites.

At work, you may have to deal with those who don’t have the same work ethics as you. You may have to deal with managers who are having a bad day- maybe, because their manager is having a bad day. Stress can be thick enough to cut with a knife. Coworkers may be easily upset, or ready to do everything asked. Coworkers may be site on in doing their job, and others may be working their hardest at getting out of work.

So we meet them, on a day to day basis. We deal with them, during every moment that we are out and about, surrounded by people.We often find ourselves dealing one on one with single individuals. Those whose differences may or may not conflict with our personality and idiosyncrasies.  What do we do?

How, do we prevent the actions and attitudes of others from ruining our day? How do we, save our day and help make the day of others around us better?  It is up to us, and we can do it, we can remain calm. The following thoughts are all taking into consideration that the attitudes and actions are all verbal and not physical.

If we understand, their actions are their own, it is their weakness not yours. While it is never right, for one to belittle or ridicule another, to be the strong one, and just walk away, diffuses a situation. To not react, is the perfect reaction. To learn how, to smile and let it go, shows growth.

If we understand, that someone who is trying to make you feel less, it is an inner insecurity of their own. Some still do believe that by making you feel or look less, makes them stronger. When you know that is not true, you are the stronger.

People, are complex. We are a bundle of emotions, moods, attitudes and more. We can be easy to get along with, or we can be nearly impossible to get along with. We can grow to the point where we can get along with others, but have we matured to the point where others can get along with us?

If we want to get along, if we want to deal with happy, easy going people, we need to be such a person.

In my own experiences, I have learned, and continue to learn moment by moment, to stay quiet when possible. I am learning with each event, to understand that because one person is having a bad moment, I do not have to make that moment mine as well. Comments made, may hurt at the moment, but if I take that moment and look at their side, try to see what may be going on with them, it is easier on me. Life deals us many cards, not all of them are good. A bad attitude and reaction may be due to things going on in the life of the one we are dealing with. Things that we may know little or nothing about. Not everyone who acts like a jerk, actually is one. I have learned to walk in constant prayer of understanding and peace. To be able to walk in compassion and calm. It isn’t always easy, but then parts of life never are. Life is a constant quest for growth, peace and yes, compassion toward others. I have learned, that when I remain quiet and non-combative, that life remains more on that even keel and less dramatic. When a bad moment happens, it can quickly be forgotten if the reaction to it is less. So I walk on, I pray for that peace, calm, quiet and understanding. I pray, and dealing with the complexity, gets much less complex.


About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
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