Remembering Who You are

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I would imagine that we have all at some point seen reports of where someone’s child was having an event, but no one showed. We’ve seen where someone’s child is ignored or bullied in school or other social events. We may feel the hurt, anger or helplessness that parent feels. The thing is, a sad thing is, it happens to adults as well. Even as adults, when one is snubbed, bullied or treated as less, it still causes pain. Being an adult, doesn’t automatically mean you are immune to the suffering this brings on. But, you have an advantage over the child who is suffering. You can learn how to understand what drives the bully, how then to deal with it and take away its power over you.

Believe in yourself. Know your personal strengths. Know who you are, what you enjoy, what you are really good at doing. Know that, while you may not be able to do this one thing as well as others, there is always something, an ability, a talent, that you possess that others do not. In a way, that others do not.

Grow. Learn more, practice different things. Find what draws you, what interests you, what makes you, the person you are. Start where you are, and build on that. Learn how to play a musical instrument, learn how to dance, take up a hobby and keep at it until you know you are getting to, and have reached a level of excellence, but don’t stop, keep learning new things about your hobbies or interests. Seek out knowledge with a never ending hunger. Seek with a drive and desire to excel.

Don’t get arrogant. Always be compassionate, even when its difficult. Compassion, love, concern over others, is not a weakness. It takes greater strength to love, than it does to hate.

Surround yourself with others who have similar interests, talents and desires. Surround yourself, with those who will bring out the best in you. Who will and does, believe in you. Don’t fully block out the detractors, learn from them. don’t allow them to tear you down, but allow it to increase your drive to succeed.

Understand, that many times, those who bully, snub, try to treat you as less, are often times, insecure in themselves and while they may not realize it consciously, belittle those around them in the quest to make themselves feel more important.

Laugh off a snub. You see it, you recognize it for what it is. Stand and watch someone handing out a gift to everyone around you, but walk past you multiple times without offering a gift to you. Stand and watch someone on their phone and see them lean over and show another person standing there what ever they are looking at, but act as if you aren’t even there. See it for what it is, a deep lack of good manners. The acts of someone who wasn’t taught better or who has preferred to act as if they weren’t. To treat someone in this manner is nothing but rudeness, don’t sink to their level, see it for what it is and rise above it. Don’t follow their lead and act as they do. Even as it hurts, ignore their actions. be the better person. Act with your heart, show compassion, show respect, show caring for others. Again, that is not a weakness, that is inner strength.

It isn’t easy, to deal with the acts of others, especially if there is something prominent about them. They may be a teacher, a social leader, one with a social media presence with great following, they may be a boss, a family member or anyone who has a position that draws respect and has the power to make or break one. You see how all of the others know how to play the game and win, while you seek to just survive and not lose to a bully.

When all else leaves you still struggling, get away. If you can’t leave the building, leave the area. If you can’t leave the area, immerse yourself in a way that secludes you. Focus on a project, read a book, pick up your phone if you must and can. If you can leave the building, take a hike, literally. find a bench, find a park, find a green way and hike. Go fishing, even if you don’t bait or even have a hook on the line, add weights and toss a line in.Go horseback riding, go sailing, go bike riding. Find ways, physically, mentally, emotionally to escape the bullying, the pain, the abuse and discover your inner strength.

Just always remember, your own worth. Don’t sink to their level, don’t allow them, to effect you and how you act and feel. don’t allow their weakness to cause harm, emotional, physical, mental harm and pain to you. Be strong. Be capable, Be you. Then, should you see others who are being bullied or snubbed, you know how to help them, help themselves.

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