Once upon a broken relationship, I was told I was heartless. A lifetime ago, I was told I couldn’t handle a job I had been promoted to because I was too soft hearted. When I lost my husband and couldn’t / didn’t cry, I was told I was cold hearted. Even though, in my silent suffering, I was broken hearted.
How, did the heart become so associated with emotions? Ancient Egyptians, for instance, believed that the heart epitomized life and morality. The Greeks held that it controlled reason, thought and emotion. It’s possible that the Greek association of ivy with the god Dionysus (the god of sensual things) led to the heart being identified with romantic love. (Thank you Google)
So, do we need a new heart, or a new mindset? Maybe both? Because if the emotions of the mind set the heart racing, it would make sense that we learn better how to handle emotions. That, we can’t always control what happens around us, but we can control our reactions.
I was told I was heartless because I refused to give in to what that person wanted. What they felt they deserved. But I was done with the being used and abused. I left them standing in the dust of the bus that took me away from what had been toward what would be. To protect one’s physical and mental well being does not make one heartless. To not allow others to take advantage of you, or to abuse you for their selfish needs, is not heartless. Others will lie to you to get their way. Others will take advantage of situations, to benefit themselves. Others will stir up situations, that will work out to their profit. Others will ignore the pain and suffering of those around them. That, is heartless.
Similar, but more lacking in emotion. Fully without feeling for anything. No amount of suffering of others, be it human or animal, touches them. A rock, has more emotions. In my case, I was still in a state of shock. I had lost an anchor, a balance, an annoyance, my love. I was still drifting, trying to figure out what had happened and where did I go from there? I was also angry and doing my very best to hide that from those who I was angry with. To open wounds and bring about hurt feelings would have solved nothing. I walked away letting them think me cold.
The opposite of cold. Sometimes maybe even called a bleeding heart as they feel everything. A child crying or a puppy whimpering brings out the feels. Ready to take on the bad side of the world and fight for everyone and everything to try and make it all better. Some times, even allowing themselves to be abused thinking that is what it takes to save the abuser. See the above description of heartless. When you finally reach the point of enough. for one who is soft hearted, sometimes, that point doesn’t come in time. One who has a soft heart, often times tries to get along with everyone, ignoring that it isn’t possible. Someone with a soft heart, may have problems in leadership positions because they may not be comfortable giving instructions. When, a soft heart, can be controlled and balanced with managing people in a work situation.
When everything seems to be crashing down around you. When I dealt with the abuse. When I lost my husband and then one of my brothers. When I lost my job. It felt, I felt, broken. It wasn’t how I had envisioned my life was going to be. As a child I had hopes and dreams, as an adult, everything seemed to be falling apart. I was broken.I learned, that you can actually suffer physically from a broken heart. I’ve know those who ended up hospitalized due to this. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617
Here we are, thirteen days into a new year. We have faced, suffered through and dealt with a lot already. It is not yet over. While the heart is not actually the center of emotions. We feel them there. We can use that, to be a guide to a change. A new heart guiding us to a new strength of will and mind. A new heart, that will show us the road we need to be traveling. In that, I believe, know and trust, there is healing and peace.