March fifth; Faith over Fear, Faith in Spite of Fear

People differ, fears differ.

The following story was written in 2011, though the actual event with the toy happened around thirty years ago. But stay with me as it moves beyond a toy story.

an evil toy called blue bear

 We told my dad that he could have this old storage building out beside the house. It seriously needs repairs but he has the time to make them and a need for the building. Thing is, its full of old toys and “stuff” Yesterday I began cleaning it out. I had piles of ‘stuff’ all around the front of that building as I decided what was salvageable and what was to be discarded. I wonder looking at all this stuff if James has any idea how blessed he was when he was younger.

As I cleaned I found stuff long forgotten about. I found blocks of every kind, there has to be hundreds of leggos and leggo knockoffs in there. Toy soldiers and plastic toy animals. He has an entire auto/ truck dealership in there of used vehicles. Pieces of various types of race track, an old train set, a work bench and a game table that the roof leaked and ruined. Books of different types, but mostly coloring books. I found an old backpack with schoolwork still in it. I didn’t see any dates on the few papers I looked at or a grade level but it had to be early in his school career. I found a mostly intact battleship game, the original without sound effects and need of batteries.

There were a few things that his dad or I had at some point moved out there, tools, a slide projector, a storm door with a broken glass and a rocking horse that a dear friend had given me for James when he was younger.

There was also a large number of stuffed critters of various kinds. One in particular was Blue Bear. This is the bear that had me cowering behind locked doors one night a long long time ago. Interested? In how a small –maybe a foot in length–stuffed bear could terrorize one so? I’ll tell you, drag up a chair.

First off, Blue Bear (when batteries are installed) plays music. He also has a small red heart that blinks to the beat of the music. James was very young when I bought this bear for him. He may..may.. have been two years old. At that time he had a couple of favorite stuffed animals he preferred and Blue Bear was one of them.

One night I was preparing a bath for James when the phone rang. James was not in the tub, or even anywhere near the bathroom when I went to answer the phone. I made it short and returned to the bathroom to find James dipping Blue Bear into the water. Quickly rescueing the bear I set it aside and after James had his play time bath and was dry and tucked away in bed I carried Blue Bear dripping wet out to the back porch. Using a skirt hanger I hung him up to dry.

At that time my husband worked second shift and was away at work. James was asleep so I settled in at the table to read. Somewhere in the back of my conscious mind I heard this odd noise. Breaking the spell of the book I was reading. I finally got up and went in search of the sound.

Let me interrupt this story with an explanation of sorts. A couple of days prior to this my husband, who loves horror movies had watched one of the Chucky movies. Probably the first one but that doesn’t matter. I had tried avoiding seeing any part of this movie. It was impossible to fully block it out but I tried.

Now, here we are..I’m alone in the house with a sleeping toddler and I’m hearing an odd noise coming from the back porch. I walk out there and see the heart on Blue Bear flickering as the noise of this toy shorting out because of the water filled the small area. I thought maybe the clip on the hanger was on the button for the sound. Taking the toy down I placed it on an old bread rack that had come from where my husband once worked. Happy to have solved the mystery I went back inside. It wasn’t long before I was back deeply immersed in my book.

Then……………………….it began again.

Slowly I stood up and eased across the kitchen to my back door. Looking out onto the porch I could see the bear’s heart blinking once again. That eerie broken music coming through the closed door. Reaching down I locked the door and started to back away. It was then I noticed the block of knives stored on top of my refridgerator. Reaching up I pushed them further back as I then began to back away. I lost track of how long I sat there, watching the back door. In my over-imaginative mind I could see that stuffed bear breaking down the door, reaching easily up and grabbing the largest butcher knife and coming after me, angry and accusing “YOU LET HIM GET ME WET”

Some people just shouldn’t watch horror movies……Kinda explains why he had been taken out to the building

In this event, a small, toy bear had me locking doors and hiding knives. Because of a scary movie and an overactive imagination. But there are so many things, real things out there, that frighten us.

Currently Ukraine is fighting a Russian invasion. Every citizen under attack, it doesn’t matter their age how young or old they may be. It doesn’t matter the location, whether it is power facilities, hospitals, schools or homes. The bombs fall. Teenagers are setting aside video games and skateboards and walking into training to fight for their country. The elderly are standing strong in attempts to protect their homeland for their grandchildren. How can one not fear when the bombs explode, the fires burn and the sound of approaching tanks echo off crumbling walls?

Mothers watching their sons become men as they go into training. Fathers who watch their families leave for a place of safety. Civilians who stand in the path of tanks. Volunteers from other countries who sign on to civilian armies, taking up arms for a nation in need, leaving home with the understanding they may not return. How can one not feel fear?

Many of us, in relative safety, are complaining about the cost of things such as fuel and groceries. We complain about empty store shelves or the wait to get needed items supposedly because of supply chain breakdowns. We complain about mandates, masks, distancing. We make remarks about mandates ending, a virus disappearing. We ridicule politicians. As we sit in our home, at our job, out for the evening, in relative safety. While the Ukrainian people, battle for survival, shoving aside the fear, fighting in spite of the fear.

Countries that border Ukraine are stepping up, taking in refugees, sending aid, rescuing pets and zoo animals. Opening borders for those who seek asylum. Other countries are sending food, medical supplies, ammunition. Some are sending in field hospitals. Doing this, standing up against and in spite of any fear they may feel. Many of us are incapable of doing this, but we can donate. We can support those who can go, who can supply, who can create something to sell to raise funds to send in to the aid of what ever need. More importantly, we can pray. Constantly on our knees, constantly in our prayer closet, constantly crying out to God to protect the innocent, protect Ukraine and its people, protect the soldiers who are fighting to protect and those who are forced to fight a battle they may not fully understand or wish to fight. Protect the Russian citizens who do not want this war.

I don’t know all the reasons for this battle, I feel it is not only a madman bent on gaining power and land. It is not only a control grab. It is not simply a human battle, I feel there is a spiritual, evil attack on mankind battle going on around us. I feel that we need to pray for protection and strength spiritually. Against those who seek power over people in any and all ways. To stand up against this battle, against and in spite of any fear and have faith in God, who has not lost control.

We never fully know what waits behind the door. Only after we open it do we understand what we face. Yet, when God is with us, we face nothing alone.

Poor thing is actually still around..