Project Bedroom

I am exhausted…and covered in paint and primer. Right now is when I wished I had a hot tub.

My mother told me this morning not to cook for them today as she had pork chops that she needed to cook. She knew that I was wanting to paint as well. After I had taken care of morning stuff, like wasting time watching short videos and playing solitaire I finally donned my painters outfit, shoved my hair under a cap, and went to work.

The first thing I wanted to do was paint the ceiling tiles with primer. I would love to replace them, and eventually will have to, but for now I just wanted to make them look better. Painting a ceiling is hard. Especially one that is covered in that pop corn mess. All of that bending backward with arms over your head means that my back is going to let me know just how unhappy it is with me.  I can almost hear the questions ringing loudly, “What were you thinking????” I worked until I had half the ceiling painted then took a break to allow my arms to rest. After a cup of coffee and a few messages on social media, I returned to the task at hand. I worked until I had the ceiling painted. I had primer left in the tray so I used that to paint the door to what was my son’s bedroom before he moved into the camper. It is a white door that he had covered with grease stains. He works as a mechanic.

I considered taking yet another break but instead cleaned out the paint tray and prepared to paint the walls of the bedroom. I thought the color was more a of really light grey but instead its more of an off white. Its fine though, the intent was to make the room brighter, and a light color on the walls should do just that. I had used a large brush on the ceiling, but on the walls I used a roller. I tried to paint with even strokes and pressure. I tried to not make a mess. I tried to not allow myself to become distracted. Even though I did talk to one of the dogs through the open window. It took several hours, but I managed to finish painting the room. I’ll let it dry for a couple of days, partially because we have wet weather coming, then look for any spots that may need touching up. I had maybe a quarter of the can of paint left so I have I hope enough.

I’m glad to have that completed, but I have another room waiting. But, as I said, we have a few days of rainy, maybe some snow, weather for the next few days. I’ll use those days for more time to go through cabinets, drawers, this room, and toss what is unnecessary.  It feels good when ever I clean out an area and see how much better it looks with so much tossed out.

My son has called me a hoarder. He’s wrong but I do have more than I need. Once the floors are installed and I prepare to bring the furniture back into the house, I will carefully go through all of my clothing and possessions to see what needs to be kept and what needs to be tossed out. I think that once I get rid of the things I really don’t need, can’t wear or is worn out, I will begin to feel better.

The same is true with out mental well being. We need to go through our thoughts and see what we are allowing inside our head. We need to rid ourselves of  negative thinking, over thinking, or allowing self destructive thoughts access. Anything that is negative and destructive rather than constructive, needs to go. One cannot simply paint over a bad attitude. One cannot paint over anything that is destructive. One has to take true stock and even if its painful, get rid of anything that makes life more difficult.

My back and arms are screaming at me for the hours spent painting. There are times when ridding myself of the negative thoughts leaves me struggling due to those thoughts being so much a part of what I have been. To try and push those thoughts and attitudes away, is similar to asking Linus to let go of his security blanket. It is as if I am standing at a point in the path that divides into multiple directions and I have to figure out which way I want and need to travel. Which one will have the better results and help me leave the negative leeches of my mental strength behind. The bedroom is painted, even though it is obvious I painted over paneling, I am happy and feel somewhat accomplished. It also has shut up the little ‘you can’t do that’ voice.

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