Looking Back and Considering the Lessons Among the Struggles

I should be going down to walk my mother’s dog right now, but its pouring rain. Neither the dog nor I need to be out in the rain. I awoke last night with a mild sore throat, I don’t need that getting worse. That would not be the way I want to end this year and begin the new.

As I sit here, listening to the rain falling, I want to consider the rain as washing away the old preparing for the new. We have faced a lot this past year. We have dealt with things that we should not have had to face, and yet we did. Not only did we face these storms, but we have survived. I would like to believe that the storms and struggles have made us stronger, smarter, better. For many of us, that is true, while others may still have lessons to learn.

For myself, I believe this past year has brought me a long way from the person I was. Though  I still have a long way to go, I know I am making progress.

I have become more content with what I have. While I still see so many things that look nice, I can look and move on without purchasing. I can look, and then remind myself that I have more material things than I need now. I have books I have not read, movies I have not watched, dresses I have not worn. I have more shirts than I need, there is no sense in adding more. If I still worked, it would be different. If I dated, it would be different. If I socialized more, it would be different. Currently, what I have is enough.

I have learned how to do more on my own, or learned my limitations better and how to seek out assistance.

I have learned how to make better peace with solitude. When the moments of grief come around, or the moments when it is too quiet, I have found the ways to get through and get better. When I understand that at this time, a solitary existence is better than the alternative. I have yet to fully become who I am meant to be. That needs to be accomplished and settled before I even consider allowing another into my life. Because of that, I have also learned to stand strong against the comments and insults tossed my way when I refuse advances.

I have learned a greater patience. With those around me. Waiting in traffic, standing in any line, sitting in waiting rooms anywhere. I still struggle every once in a while dealing with my parents, after hearing the same story multiple times. After being told anything and everything is worse than what I dealt with in the past or currently. I realize it is not intentional, just a part of aging.

I have learned to be grateful for everything. For the people in my life. For the home I have. For the fact I have what I need. For the lessons learned. For the knowledge, the understanding, the acceptance of this relationship with God. He has a plan for me, as I progress, my prayer is that I am living that plan.

As I listen to the rain, my hope is that anything that has not created improvement or growth will be washed away. But then, if there is no struggle, is there really growth? So my real hope is that others have seen growth and improvement in their own lives. That what they have faced this past year, has helped them be better, stronger, smarter. May we learn to weather the storms and enjoy the sunlight afterward.

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