Thankful For Thoughts and Memories

Three years ago today. It was three years ago today that my brother left us for his Heavenly home. It has been five years since we have spent a Thanksgiving with my husband. My mother is always sad during the month of November. Her mother left us in November as did her son. Yesterday, Thanksgiving Day, could have been a sad time, but it wasn’t.

The doctor has told my mother not to walk on uneven ground. My dad is still wearing the medical boot due to that broken ankle. My brother thought the best idea would be to have the meal in my parent’s home. For the past few years we have been having the big meals in my dad’s garage size storage building. Plenty of room to eat, for the kids to play and mom doesn’t have to get all worked up if her floor hasn’t been swept. But, my brother really believed this would work.

We ended up with the tables to eat on being placed in the carport. The food was staged inside the house. We gathered, we ate, then as the kids played outside in the amazing weather we were blessed with, the rest spent time inside with mom and dad.

It was crowded. It was chaotic. It was amazing. It was a blessed day in which no one allowed the sadness of those missing  to invade our emotions and cause the day to be difficult. They were not forgotten, never are they forgotten. Michael always carved the turkey and offered grace before the meal. My husband always had a turkey leg and a plate overflowing.

 Thankfulness takes many forms. It isn’t only the possession of material things, or the personal health or family gathered together. It is also the memories we hold close. Remember the wonders and amazing times past. Remembering those who made those times amazing. Missing them and loving and remembering them at the same time. While my brother is no longer here to accuse me of scaring his deer every time I walk and my husband no longer is here to lecture me on the safety and or dangers of walking alone, I am blessed with amazing memories of both. So in that way, they were with us yesterday and every day.

The following is what I wrote the day my brother left us. I share again in honor and memory of the anniversary of his passing.

Day 329-

A day that started out in hope. Hope that my brother would awaken from the medically induced coma and speak to us. A day, where I went in to work, not fully able to concentrate, but trying. A day, where I looked up and saw my son, and I knew. I knew, and I lost it. All James could do was hold me while I screamed for my brother. My son, whose very heart was also breaking, was trying to hold me while I fell apart.

James brought me home, then stayed with his grandfather while I rode with the others to the hospital. I went in with mom while my other brother Kevin and his wife parked the car. Mom and I went ahead and got our identification stickers then waited. Slowly most of the family came together in mass then went up to the room. Going into that room was so very hard. Seeing him unmoving on that bed. His body there, but he was no longer. He was home.

Knowing, I would never be teased again, never hear that voice, that laugh. I would never again see him walking up the road with a grandchild riding on his shoulders.

My heart hurts, but how much so must Donna’s and their kids. The tears that fell today, are nothing compared to what is coming. Mom, fell apart in the hospital. She had ended up in a wheelchair because her legs would not hold her. Her heart broken.

But, while we mourn and we cry his leaving, oh the celebration that must be going on in Heaven. Mom knows he has already been with our grandmother. Always with the best hugs, always with the greatest love. My brother, is no longer in pain, he doesn’t have to fight the monster that took him from this life, but was his key to the next. My brother, who I love and so dearly, deeply miss already, has seen Jesus face to face.

The tears that always threaten to fall, but don’t are still so very close to the surface. The pain, that is ripping my heart apart, constant. Even as I know, he is wonderful now. Closed his eyes here, opened them in glory. How amazing is that?

I love you my brother, I miss you, you are, forever in my heart.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
This entry was posted in adventure, children, encouragement, faith, family, in honor, inspiration, life's journey, memories, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Thankful For Thoughts and Memories

  1. John says:

    Such a lovely family, Rebecca, God bless you all. Our Thanksgiving and Christmas have never been the same since my mum passed in 2012. 🙏🏻❤️

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