I was sitting here, listening to the rain falling outside my window. I was thinking about how much the plants in my gardens, whether they are flower of vegetable, were loving the natural watering. I was thinking about how the rain was clearing the air of allergens and making it so much easier for those with difficulties to breath. I was thinking about how the rains were bringing the temperatures down a notch. So many good things from the gift of a gentle summer shower.
Thank you Lord, that I woke up today, I’m healthy and able to work with little to no difficulties on the physical side. I won’t lie that there are those days when it gets frustrating and discouraging. I try Lord, to work for You. To work, in appreciation for the fact that I do have a job, one that is close by, one that is full time, one that I’ve done for so long that I could practically do it in my sleep. I do wish though Lord, that I had listened to You, and used the gifts that You had given me. I could probably have become a whole different and better person. I could have probably done a lot more for Your kingdom than I have. But I am where I am, and I will do my best Lord, to glorify Your name every day.
Thank You Lord, for James. He has been such a special gift. All of those times during his growing years have taught him a great deal. He has become a fine man in spite of the devil’s attempts to derail his life. He has been especially helpful for the last couple of months. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him. I know You’ve seen the things he has done, things that would have been difficult if not impossible for me to accomplish.
Lord, I do thank You, for being here with me, now. I thank you, that You are here, walking with me, being here, comforting me at this time. A time where there are moments that I have no idea which way to turn. You know Lord, that I was not prepared that afternoon to get the word that You had called my husband home. I knew that he hadn’t been feeling well, and that his health wasn’t the best, but I had never really thought he would leave us. I know that we don’t know when You will call us home, I know that we should live our life prepared for that moment. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t prepared for it to be his time. Now here I am, Lord, here I am, more than a bit lost. I’m so glad that You’re here to guide my steps and lead me through the darkness that surrounds me. The dark of loneliness, of feeling empty, of feeling abandoned, of feeling confused, so very alone. Remembering that You are here, walking me through this, keeps me going. I think of that poem, where when there is only one set of footsteps, and it was then You said you were carrying the one who walked with You. Carry me Lord, help me through this, brighten the darkness with Your presence.
There are times Lord, when there seems to be so much going on, so much that I need to take care of, things that I have never had to deal with before and that I’m not sure I’m handling in the right way. From that moment, getting that phone call, that entire evening of handling other calls, and visits; talking with the police. Sitting there on the porch, sitting there, watching the solar lights come on, fighting with the mosquitoes, and wishing that it wasn’t so, but knowing that it was. All that time, sitting here, trying to get my husband’s earthly body home and dealing with bureaucracy that I’ve never had to before. The funeral, opening claims for the insurance, probate, all on that list. All things that had me worried, nervous, confused, but had me also, holding on to You. I’ve walked Lord, in constant prayer, talking with You, trying Lord, to remain strong, in You. Trying Lord, to not lose my witness as I struggled my way through. Thank You Lord, for being here with me.
I won’t try to lie Lord, I do get so very tired. My body grows so very weary from the battle, but most nights, I don’t sleep very well. I find myself waking up, listening to the night. My thoughts scatter, my mind confused as I try to assimilate so very much. My heart hurts at his missing. So many years together, it seems, no, it is so very different without him here. I cling to the hem of Your garment Lord, just a touch, that will strengthen me, that will heal the pain in my heart. A touch, that will calm the emotions, that will dry even the tears not shed. As a simple word from You, calmed the winds and the seas, I know that a word can calm this troubled heart and emotional storms. I trust You Lord, that You will be with me, through all of this, that You will guide and carry, that You will not leave me abandoned to the night.
Thank you Lord, for each and every blessing that You have provided for us. For all of the friends who opened their hearts, their strength, their wallets. I thank You Lord, for those who think of us, and who still ask how we are. I thank You Lord, for every accomplishment made along the way. I thank You Lord, for what You have done, for what You are doing and for what You will do, as we walk. I thank You Lord, for Your love, for Your peace, for Your comfort, for the shelter that You are, in the midst of this storm. Thank you Lord, I love You Lord, and I cherish all that You are.
So the above was written in June of 2017 and posted on another blog site. I share that here and add the following…
Thank you Lord, for the gift of forgiveness, or mercy and grace that you have given us by your act of obedience and love. You went to the cross and died a violent death only to rise again from the grave, death defeated and the sin price paid. Your mercy and love boundless, my humble thanks nowhere hear enough, but you accept them and draw me near. On this day Lord, may we remember, recognize and rejoice in you.