At what point, is it okay to ridicule another? There really isn’t one is there? But..we do it. We try to hide those verbal attacks and bullying under the camouflage of joking, but let’s be real, it is an attack. If we know, that the victim will be hurt, its bullying. If we are commenting in a negative manner on appearance, it is bullying. If we are talking in a condescending manner, it is bullying. None of which is okay.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what profession you hold. I do know that in the past, and still currently, there are ‘roasts’ with the intent of ridiculing a specific individual. This person is in on it, they know what is coming. While I have not viewed many of these, the ones I did, seemed for the most part, to have a line drawn in the sand. Of course those were years ago and a lot has changed since then. Many seem to think that it is okay to go on the attack, especially if you are an actor and it is done in the name of comedy.
Maybe I am being a bit think skinned over this, but I, as many others, have dealt with these so called jokes. They aren’t funny. We have faced the belittlement of who we are, so to make the instigator look bigger, more powerful. They aren’t. Many think it is okay to attack another for any reason they can conjure up. It isn’t.
What brought this up of course was what happened on the awards show last night. I don’t watch award shows any longer but what happened is all over the media. Was it staged? Maybe, but I tend to think not. Was it somewhat preplanned but then Chris Rock abandoned the script? Was that look of Jada Pinkett Smith’s embarrassed hurt real? I would say yes. Was it real, when Will Smith stormed the stage and struck out? They say it was and if so, as one who generally does not take sides, I feel it was justified. Don’t attack someone’s loved one in front of the world and not expect the consequences.
What does the one who is the victim do, at the times when they don’t have a guardian angel at hand? How does one handle being bullied and insulted under the guise of a joke? I don’t have all the answers. I can offer a few thoughts. If your second language is sarcasm and wit, you parlay their strike. With the understanding that unless you strike a stunning blow you are in for an escalation of the battle. My son was bullied. He ignored it for the most part around the bully even as he spoke often with me about the situations. Going to the school was useless. He changed schools only for one of the leaders of the pack attempt to put my son in ‘his place’. My son, who held at that time a high belt in a martial art, put the so called leader down. He had no more problems. And better yet, this new school did not punish him for standing up for himself and making his place in the hierarchy.
A bully picks on those they perceive to be weaker. It is up to us to show our strength. Sometimes, that can be accomplished by a look of bored disdain at our attacker. Our inner strength our coat of armor shielding us and strengthening us against verbal assault.
The following is from 2015
Good morning all–
Sitting here listening for the sound of that big diesel engine…my husband has a load to deliver and then his home time begins..since home was on the way, he was able to spend his ten here..he wanted me to go with him but since he didn’t have authorization for me to ride I wouldn’t go. I don’t want to get him in trouble, one day I’ll go as I do want to see at least some of what he sees. I wish I could say that I would only see good things. Sadly, that isn’t what would happen.
I would love to see the colors of spring, trees and flowers blooming along the way. I’d love to see the views from going across the mountains, looking out at the farms and valleys spread out below. I’d love to see the wildlife running across the fields and along the sides of the roadway. I’d love to see the untold numbers of people traveling along their way, off to work or fun. I want to see the rainbow in the sky clearing after a spring storm.
But, along with that are the other side of humanity. Where I’d love to see flowers, there are also junkyards, areas where the land has been cleared and left stripped, there are the lands where the economy is the worst and the houses are shacks barely able to remain standing. He has told me of driving through areas where he couldn’t understand how people could live in those buildings or where road crews have simply dumped paving materials along the roadside. Smog hangs low over some areas, choking you and making it impossible to see the city before you. Traffic a nightmare as thousands of cars trying to go in the same direction at the same time cause a type of gridlock and slow everything down. Frustration and aggravation the result as everyone is in a hurry and getting nowhere. Where the spring storms I am accustomed to are rain showers with the occasional thunderstorm, in other places its tornadoes that destroy entire towns. How do you see these things without a tear rolling down your cheek?
Life is a journey. Every journey has its smooth traveling and the times of detours, slowdowns and sadness. There are the areas of great beauty, and the areas of desolation. No matter who we are, what we do or where we are going, we will all face it. The way we face it is what shows our heart and our real self. How will you handle what is placed before you today?
Along this journey, we will see the beauty around us. We will see the happiness, the outright joy, the peace and love. We will ride the winds to the mountain peaks and see the glories of the land spread out before us. We will also see the dark, the hurt, the struggles. As humans among humans, we should do all we possibly can to be the difference needed to make life better. Yes, we are our brothers keepers. Yes, we should do all we possibly can to uplift and strengthen. To help make stronger, better, happier. We don’t do that through attacks of any sort. Even in the name of a joke.