It was a lie of omission, but still an untruth.
The other day I finally got around to making the appointment to get my taxes done. Being that math and I do not get along at all, I avoid it as much as possible. I especially avoid it when it comes to taxes and the risk of what screwing up could bring about. Which meant when I finally had all of my paperwork gathered, I made the call and set the appointment. I even told mom, because she wonders when I wander off without telling her.
This morning in our conversation she tells me she has a doctor appointment and wonders if I would be able to drive her there. Of course this appointment is at the exact same time and day as my appointment for my taxes. When I remind her she then tells me not to worry, as she can get there, she will get dad..I know that won’t work. Okay, yes it will. I’m sixty-four and my mother playing the guilt card still works.
I waited an hour or so after our conversation and made the call. I explained my situation and since the tax guy knows my folks he understood even as he laughed at my comment on needing to check their schedule as well before I try to make any sort of appointments. So we rescheduled and he wished me luck on my uber driving as we were ending the conversation.
I then called my mother and told her that I had talked with the tax guy and he had changed my appointment to the next day. Okay, so the way I worded it was more, “I was just on a call with *tax guy, and he changed my appointment so I can take you to the doctor.” I let her believe he called me, that he needed to make the change not that I had set this up. Because it would have bothered her, even though she played the guilt card. Maybe even possibly without fully realizing that she was doing such a thing. Because she honestly doesn’t want or mean to inconvenience anyone. She hates having to ask for so many favors, but understands that they really do not have much choice.
So I lied. Neither of my parents drive much any more, they don’t need to be driving. They both realize that their reaction time is too slow and that many drivers out there are not the careful responsible drivers of their time. Though my own son told me yesterday that I was ‘too polite’ in my driving. People don’t expect that any more. Which is dangerous and sad in my opinion. Even if he is right, I still believe that it is someone else that needs to be making sure they get to where they need to be when it involves heavier traffic, less than ideal weather or times, if its me, then its me. Too polite or not.
I don’t feel comfortable at all in the subterfuge, all my life I have been taught the importance of honesty and respect. How being honest with a person is a sign of that respect. Does wanting and needing to be there for someone, make allowances for a bit of dishonesty? Is my grandparents in Heaven looking down at me with understanding in this situation, or will I get a lecture once I am in their presence once again?
As a Christian, I know that the words we speak, show what is within our heart. I know that God hates a liar: https://www.openbible.info/topics/lying
And I lied. Sort of, in a way, kind of, definitely, lied.
Does it matter that it was meant to keep her from feeling bad about my changing my appointment? Does it matter that it was intended for good? Does it matter any of the good intentions because most of us I’m sure have heard that about the road to hell paving and all..
I think, know, that I’m going to have to confess…later. After the fact, after all the appointments have been met. After we have accomplished our responsibilities. Going forward, I’m going to have to write down on the planner that she gave me yesterday, because she doesn’t use them, all of their appointments. So I’ll know.