So the following is actually from 2013 so a bit more than five years ago..but..
Five years ago I was writing blogs on myspace…I had challenged myself to reach 1000 blogs before my 50th birthday. This was one of the blogs:
A couple of people at work know what I am trying to do here as far as reaching the 1000 blogs by my birthday. They don’t fully comprehend because one, none of them are writers; two most do not have internet access, some who do must have been under a rock somewhere because one asked me ‘what exactly is a blog?’ and three, most think I’m somewhat nuts anyway. Not sure why on that one.
I was talking to one of these in the know people today and told them I had a confession to make. That got their attention, trust me.I asked them if they remembered me talking about trying to write a thousand blogs? I just about lost them right then, you could tell their interest level dropped about fifty percent immediately, but troopers that they are they turned to look at me.
I told them I had to confess that maybe I didn’t think this thing through fully. (Me, admit I may have made a mistake? ME? nah not me..did I?) Anyway, seeing that I once again had their full attention I decided to play it to the hilt.
I told them that I was sitting here at the computer this morning and wanted to post a new blog. I had the screen up. I had my coffee at hand. I had the correct posture- well as correct as it’s going to be with me.
I was sitting here….staring..and that stupid little blinking cursor…..
and no words would come.
There were no great words of wisdom spewing forth from the deep recesses of my soul(ewwwwww sounds a mite gross). I had nothing wise and wonderful to share. No great advice for the in love or the loveless. I had no words to start this day the proper way..nothing.
I searched the mental files for something funny. A great joke that I could share, a great joke that I could remember the punch line to. something witty and wild and family friendly. I searched, and while I could recall a portion of this joke or a part of that tale, I couldn’t recall enough for them to make sense.
I would have settled for something sad and heartbreaking at that point as my own heart was breaking,,searching for something anything
well, no, not just anything.
for it to be proper and correct and to count in my mind much less anyone else’s.. it has to be something I wrote, something I saw, heard, was told, experienced.. enough so that at least 98 percent of what I was telling was mine and not someone else’s work.
I was fast running out of time. I’m still sitting here watching that silly little line blink..blink blink blink..I just this close to banging my head on the table and crying out “WHY” “Why are there no words? Where have the words gone to this morning??”
At this point I was getting on a roll..”Where oh where are the words? Where are they hiding, where is my muse, the one with the ideas, thoughts, stories to share?? I have searched the deepest darkest recesses, I have searched my heart I have searched the earliest to the last of my emails searching for something wonderful and profound to share and it eludes me.”
Don’t forget, I’m still at work…
By this time I have one hand raised in the air, I’m on my soapbox and I’m rocking..”You, words of great worth, gone, hidden from my sight, gone, lurking just out of reach in the darkest void of nothingness, hiding, teasing the edges of my conscious, teasing the writer in me that longs for you. Gone oh words that I need..where, where are you when it is now that I need you the most”
By this time the person I was talking to has the expression on their face like they are wondering whether to stand and see just where I am going to take this, or to turn and run.”Admit, yes admit this I must..what was I thinking, or was it that I was in all actuality not thinking and put myself in this position. A position where I must have words. …
words that talk of rocks
even words of chicken pox..
yes those words, I need those words
words I love to write
(yup… sung in the key of ye old Armour Hot dog song)
Then before my victim could respond I was gone with the wind. 😉