January Twelfth; Memories and I Meant to do That

I find some of the memories that show up over on social media interesting. The thoughts that were running through my head at the time, the events that took place, the lessons learned and experience gained. Following are three such memories.

It hurts to move. (2016)
Muscles that I had forgotten about, or never knew about, hurt.The dept. manager was out today. The packer was out today. One technician was out today. One utility man was out today. My job title— lead person. Job description- what ever it takes to keep the dept. running. Came in to work to a frame (#11) that went down on second shift- belt broke. The technician that came in, I sent word for him to go ahead and clock in as I needed that frame running. Frame #1 went down three, almost four times…then decided to behave, so we’re still not sure what is going on. Frame 13 went down, easy fix and it was back up and running. Set up frame #6, sized and checked in, went to start it up just after 3pm, but it decided it wasn’t in the mood- so we’ll be looking at that one tomorrow.But we survived and tomorrow is another day.

Reading the above my mind and heart was filled with many emotions. Do I miss working? In a sense I do, but not that. Not those days that were so absolutely insane that you almost had to schedule in moments to breathe. Even though the hours passed much quicker, the stress levels were intense. Yet, seeing, facing and accomplishing the challenges did feel good.

I wonder though, how often we begin the day at ninety miles an hour and never slow down. How often, do we become so busy, so frustrated and distracted, that we miss the important stuff? When at the end of the day, we are so exhausted on so many levels that there is nothing left. How often, do family and friends suffer because of that exhaustion? How often, do we miss chances to be the difference for others, because we are too tired to see them right in front of us?

good morning all- (2017)
Yesterday while in the process of moving all of those Christmas decorations back to the building James was trying to get me to help him move two boxes at a time..I wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking me, whether it was my not listening or what, one of the boxes fell and stuff went everywhere. The sound of breakage was clear. The look on James face probably mirrored mine. But its just stuff. James was afraid I would be angry.James was afraid I would get upset.He waited for the explosion, or reaction of any sort.It was just stuff.I told him to go ahead and carry the box that he had and I’d pick up the stuff that scattered. I raked it all back into the box and shoved the top back on. I saw one or two broken pieces, but nothing to get too upset over. It was just stuff.Sad how sometimes we get all bent out of shape over just stuff. Some things are worthy of getting upset over, don’t get me wrong but.. some things though, are just stuff. We lose family, we lose friends, we lose respect and dignity when we get all upset over, just stuff. How many times, do we let things upset us, that were really not that big of a deal? How many times do we cry we are offended, that we accuse others of hurting our feelings or that we feel we have been mistreated is some form or other.. when in truth, we have taken things beyond where we should have? Words are simply words, until you give them power, until you put something behind them. Someone’s words, may have been meant to hurt, but if you ignore and walk away, those words are left to evaporate into time, powerless and forgotten. Someone’s words, may have been meant to insult, if you argue back, you have given those words power. If you stand tall, bigger than the one with the insults, and walk away, the words drop like rocks onto the foot of the one who spoke.To be the bigger person is not easy. But if we remember, its just stuff, and remain calm and in control.. we are the better, those around us are the better..we have made a difference in taking away the power of the one scattering the just stuff.

Before I say anything else, I will admit that there are a few of those, ‘just stuff’ items that would really hurt if they were broken. Those things that were passed down from family members long gone. Those things that I had some hand in creation, many years or not so many years ago. But, those items are few and if I were to think honestly about it, though holding great sentimental value, they too, are just stuff. The important part, the memories, remain.

That brings me to this point, do we place too much value on stuff? Of course we do. Maybe not all stuff, but some. Material things that in the grand scheme of things should hold very little. When we hold onto, protect, hoard yes hoard, material things, we are laying up our treasures here on earth. Not realizing those all those things have no eternal value. We are holding onto things that will rust and rot. Everything on this earth, everything in our life, we can lose. It will fade away, no matter how tightly we hold onto it, no matter how we try to protect and guard. What we should be doing, is saving our treasures in Heaven. When we give our life to Christ. When we become Followers, Believers, Servants of the Lord, our desires should be to do the things pleasing to Him.

Works? Wait, we don’t get saved by doing good things. No, we do not. But our salvation should instill in us the desire to work for God’s Kingdom. How? By helping those in need. Taking care of the poor, the widow, the young. Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty. Share the love. Be like Christ. He loved without judgement. He loved all, no matter who they were. He fed the thousands, without taking a poll as to who they were, where they were from, what they did, He did not ask, He simply fed.

Day 12, page 12 (2019)
I meant to get up early, get ready and as soon as James left for work, head out for groceries. I already had my list ready and the coupons that I have gone back to using at hand. While 10am isn’t late, it is nowhere near early. I meant to get in there and get out as quickly as possible. A little over two hours later, I was finally done.I meant to get home and get them put away before James got home from work and felt obligated to help me get them inside and put away. I managed to get them all inside but he came in and did help put things away.I meant to be a published, award winning author. I’m self-published, but I was so disappointed in how few sold that I feel as if I let myself down. I’m still working on that book about my husband, but its difficult to go down that road of memories.I meant to be the perfect, loving wife. I meant to have the clean house, the healthy, home cooked meals, and laundry and dishes always done. I meant to grow old with the man I loved. Now I work on cleaning the house with no phone calls interrupting. I cook with no one asking where’s the beef? While the laundry and dishes get done, I am growing old alone. (Even as I am adapting and growing more comfortable with myself)I meant to be the best mom, the best sister, the best aunt, the best daughter, the best friend that I could be. While I don’t think I have failed that, it-I- am still a work in progress and try to improve myself every day.I meant, to be a world renowned photographer by now. I even had a showing once. Many life times ago.I meant, to be many things. I meant to do much and go on grand adventures. But I’m still alive, I’m still capable of accomplishing some of the things I dreamed about. Its a heavy bucket, but that just means that a lot of life is waiting to be enjoyed.I meant, to be a child of God, a servant of the King. One who loves the One who saved me, who loves me, who walks with me daily. That I did. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I fail daily, but I am forgiven and from it I grow. I pray, that no one I know, ever says I meant to, but didn’t. Because after death, meant to won’t help. After death comes, its too late.I meant to share,

In my prayers, I ask to be a light shining God’s glory. I ask to be a reflection. I ask to be a tool used to share the love, the peace, the forgiveness. I ask that what words I write, the actions I do each day, that God will be seen and not me. As a Child of God, I am loved. As a Believer, I am saved. As a servant, I seek to do the work given. To love and show love. To help in all ways possible. To journey through this life, walking in and sharing His light and peace. To know and share, that in times of storms, He is our shelter and with a word, can calm the storm. Should He not? Remember If He does not remove you from, or stop the storms, He will walk with you
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Daniel-Chapter-3/

I meant to share from my heart.