And so… it begins.
I did stay up last night to watch the ball drop in New York City. I even stayed sort of awake, to see the Nashville event. I didn’t quite make it as I dozed off, waking when the confetti was falling and the cheering was going on. Thankfully by that time the small arms fire around here had quieted down so I could go to bed without concern over Molly. The sweet pup who is currently outside crying because the wind is blowing making the windchimes play.
I have fed the outside cats, all of whom are accounted for this morning. I let Bella and Molly out, but when they disappeared I was concerned they had found another exit. When I called them, they appeared out of the dog houses in the front yard, Cricket-the inside cat- thought it a good idea to go exploring. As I grabbed for her, both dogs came inside. And I have yet to had any coffee. I slept past my usual wake up time, the phone waking me when mom called. She doesn’t know she woke me.
The sun and clouds are doing battle to see who will win control of the day. The wind turning it into a sort of chess match, moving the clouds across the sky clearing and then blocking. The clouds more pawn to the wind then warrior to the battle.
Watching the animals around me, seeing their personalities, I see comparisons of myself. Not always in the best of ways.
The cats out back took a while to trust. Even though they still do not trust fully and openly, always ready to run hide when something frightens them. At times, they come readily, seeking attention. Craving the feeling of touch, being gently caressed, being shown they are loved. They have grown to understand I mean them no harm, even as they remain cautious. The skills of a feral cat too deeply embedded to forget fully. It is after all what is meant to keep them safe and alive.
Bella, being older, is more laid back, braver than the others. She will usually go outside and find a spot to stretch out and watch the world go by. When I take her somewhere, she goes with anticipation and excitement. She is ready to see what awaits and enjoy the adventure. Maybe not so much the vet, but everything else. I want to be more like Bella, brave when needed, but otherwise taking on life with an air and energy of excitement.
Molly though, sweet Molly, bless her heart, is skittish. If she isn’t with Bella, and sometimes even when she is, she is afraid of…well, everything. She doesn’t understand the wind and the sounds that accompany its passing through. I’m sure the windchimes only make the fear worse. Why are they suddenly making all that noise when they usually hang silent and still? I sometimes feel a lot like Molly, afraid of what I don’t know or fully understand. The last time we took Molly for a car ride, she cried nonstop. Bella was right there, but Molly didn’t know what was happening or where we were going so she cried. Even Bella gave her a ‘will you shut up??!’ look. My son gives me that look when I get overly anxious.
Cricket is our prima dona, diva cat. In her mind, this house is hers. I am allowed because I am the one who feeds her. She does dearly love my son, but even that has limits. Attend to her when she wishes, otherwise stay out of her way. Even if she walks directly in front of you and falls over on her side in the floor. Do not, by any error in judgement or step, trip over or step on her. Her revenge is painful. Yet, I would like to be somewhat like her. Self assured to the point of going about life doing the best I can, and not caring one whit what anyone else thinks.
Last night, when the explosions began, the dogs wanted inside. They wanted close to where ever I was. Once they got close, they felt safe and calmed right down. They were inside and near the one they know will protect them. They could hear the noises outside, but they no longer were afraid. They were calm and assured n their safety to the point they stretched out and went to sleep.
That is what I seek with my Savior. That is what I know God offers freely. To be able, when the storms and explosions begin, to run to him and be safe. Knowing that when I am close, trusting and believing in Him, no harm will come until its time. Yet knowing, there is a peaceful stillness with him, a safe haven, a strong tower, brings a comfort to my soul. That my trust in Him, will bring a courage to live fully, to live completely, to act for Him in ways that will be a light guiding others. That my love and trust, will be an anchor, keeping me securely in place and not blown about by fears and anxiety. That is what I seek more than anything else.
Words from The Dirt Road 
What a beautiful sentiment. May you find your sanctuary in the storm.
Thank you Alisen.
Your words always have a calming effect on me. 🙂 ❤
Thank you so much Irene.