And so it has begun. This first day of the new year is working its way toward being over. It has not been boring, though it did not go as I had hoped and planned. But then, it is those days which can be the more memorable.
Weather wise the day has been one of watching the sky filled with heavy appearing clouds. They looked as if they could open up at any moment drenching everything below with heavy rain. But, so far, they haven’t. The wind has blown all day. The trees swaying almost continuously, a wild dance of the bare upper branches, pushed by the winds of the approaching weather front. The day was another record breaker temperature wise.
My mother did not have the best of days. Reminders of things she can no longer do herself haunting her. I can tell her until I am blue in the face that we will do anything she needs done. Whether it is making repairs or driving dad somewhere so as to give her a few quiet moments. But, she knows that, and does appreciate knowing we are here for her. That doesn’t ease the fact that as badly as she wants to do for herself, there are things she and dad can no longer do.
I know that my parents are not the only people of age who long for what they once were. Who could do what ever they wished, go where ever they wished, had that physical and mental strength of a younger time. I know, there are those who have family ready and willing to do anything needed. Who would do anything, give them anything, wishing they could give them what they want, but knowing they can’t. They cannot give them back what time and age has taken.
By the time I got back home, mom was feeling better, though I did call my brother. His calling her also helped greatly. She doesn’t know I called him, but the call lifted her heart and emotions greatly. I know because she called me a while later to tell me something and in the conversation told me my brother had called.
One weird part of the afternoon was when my nephew called and asked if I would help him identify what type of snake they had found. Now, I’m no snake expert, but I was curious. I met him just outside my yard and looked into the bucket they were carrying. The snake was a juvenile that was obvious but I wasn’t sure what type. It wasn’t a copperhead, that much I knew. We began searching on an app that had snake information but since this was a young snake, we couldn’t be sure. I went back inside and got my son who wandered out more out of the same type curiosity that I had than out of snake knowledge. We narrowed it down to one probable but wanted to be positive. I knew I had the card of a real snake expert so he promised to hold onto the snake until I got back with him. After speaking with the snake guy, it was confirmed to be a juvenile Eastern Hognose. Nonvenomous but could cause a slight allergic reaction to the highly susceptible. They planned on returning it to where they had found it after I passed on the information.
Later, as I was sitting here, I noticed my son doing something to the back storm door. Realizing what he was attempting I went to help. I had told him the other day that when the door was purchased I had wanted the screen at the top, but it came with it at the bottom. I wondered if it could be switched but no one had ever tried. That was what he was attempting. Mainly because the outside cats were climbing on the screen and if that continued they were going to destroy the thing. Within a short time, my son had the screen and glass switched and the other window put back in place. It may confuse the cats, but they’ll be fine, like my screen will also.
Earlier this evening I was listening to fireworks being shot off over on the main road somewhere. They were loud and they were constant for over an hour. I guess if you bought the things, you want to fire them off. Thankfully they have been stopped for a while so mom’s dog will have calmed down.
Short vignettes of the day. Good moments, not as good moments and the odd. An emotional roller coaster that continues until the daylight has gone and the world settles in to rest. I sit here, sipping herbal tea and listening to an orchestra performance on public television. The winds outside are still strong, the threats of the approaching storm sometime in the early hours still a concern. But if there is nothing else noteworthy of last year, I have found that my fears over strong winds has lessened dramatically. Where once I would pace the floor as I did during Hurricane Hugo, now I sit calmly and watch the trees dance. I hear the winds singing and find it more soothing than frightening.
I had hoped and planned to attend a group gathering today. Purchasing the ingredients to make brownies and a side dish. Then mom. I could not in good conscious leave when she might need me. I really doubt I was even missed as I don’t get to attend many gatherings. But I am learning also, how to better handle disappointments. I can see the photos and videos shared and smile at the good time everyone seemed to be having and be happy for them. There will be other events.
Right now, as the night deepens and the world, with the exception of the wind, quietens, I can take the time to reflect. I didn’t get my way, but that didn’t ruin my day. I was here for mom, and to help identify a snake. I also know, that as I am here for my parents, God is here for me. Prayers offered up are healing and calming. There have been nights when I have awakened in the night to realize that prayers are running through my mind. As I hear those thoughts, brought on by need due to stress, fear, every day concerns, I am able to calm down, relax and fall back into restful sleep. Knowing my soul knows when I need to speak with the Father even when I sleep.
The winds are still blowing strong, and according to the weather brief, tomorrow morning is supposed to be a rough ride. Storms, heavy rain, high winds. All things that would cause fear and concern, but I know the One who calms the winds and waves with a word. I will not fear.