October Ninth; Fear the Fear

I’m watching the sun playing peek-a-boo in and out of the clouds while the trees sway in some slow dance with the winds. Once all the clouds have cleared the rest of the day is supposed to be nice. At the moment though, it makes you wonder. The woods out back are a deep green due to not being washed out by the sun’s rays. There is a stillness that gives belief that nature herself is anticipating more rain. With each passing of the wind, more leaves come spiraling downward. Soon, all around my house will once again be carpeted in leaves. I’ll leave them until spring as it protects the ground and creates a safe habitat for various forms of life. If I had a quarter for every leaf that falls, I’d have no worries ever again. I could also take care of the things that need to be done. As I sit here, attempting this write, my mother has called me three times.

All well and good you say, but what has that to do with fear?

This is my normal. Mostly I enjoy it. I have adjusted to life of not working, even as I miss it sometimes. I am very grateful that I can be here for my parents and that I still have parents to be here for. The fact that forty year old carpeting needs replacing as well as a twenty year old couch, is something that can wait a while longer. Mom needs someone to be here for her, close enough to respond to phone calls and other needs. The one thing I do wish I had, is health insurance. But, as the saying goes, it is what it is.

The fear part comes in when I consider time.

Currently, though my mother tries to hide it, the pandemic thing concerns her…a lot. Mostly because of dad. Mostly because of their age. They have been vaccinated and they are careful for the most part in where they go when they go. Knowing that we all have a time when we will leave this life, I refuse to think too much on that. They have a very important place in the goings on of this family, as do most parents. Considering life without them scares me more than I wish to admit. It took more time than I care to remember before I adjusted to the phone calls from my husband stopping after he died. So I take each and every call from my mother gladly.

My parents obviously can’t do the things they once could. Age is a terrible thief of many things. But then, there are things that I can no longer do and wouldn’t attempt. When I worked regularly, my job had many physical aspects to it, which kept me in decent shape and strength. Having gone so long now without doing that, I would be concerned over injuries.

Fear also comes in when I look at changes going on around us.

Living where I do, I am somewhat sheltered from many things, but not all. No one truly lives in a bubble unless you have some private island, but I believe that even then, there are cracks allowing some things inside. I sit here, and I see a lot of posts about so many things that are tearing us apart. And so many, are not only accepting, but welcoming what is happening.

Humanity has never been perfect and it never will be perfect. There will always be a dark side. We can strive to make it better, to correct wrongs, to seek to shine a light and educate the ignorant. But you can’t do that by destroying good. A garden succeeds when the weeds are pulled and the good plants fed. If you pull the good plants and feed the weeds, there will be no harvest. There will always be things that are offensive to some. If it is truly a vile thing, then yes, remove it, stop it, correct the issue. But educate yourself first to make sure you are correct in your opinions. Otherwise, what you may find offensive, could also very well be a reminder for future generations that this happened and we never want to go there again. Tearing down and hiding statues doesn’t erase history, it merely removes it from memory allowing a repeat down the road.

I am old enough (64) to remember events. To understand how things were back so far. I am old enough, to sit here and see how while things were not prefect, our freedoms were intact. I sit here now, and watch as one by one they disappear. I sit here and watch as this group attacks that group. I watch and so called news sources have become just another form of sensationalism. propaganda and fear mongering. We are constantly bombarded with doom and gloom and destruction.

What is going on today is not a just happening thing. This has been going on for years, slowly conditioning and manipulating.

Those who live a faith based life, one in a true relationship with God, are made to be the enemy. While there are those who have twisted God’s Word to suit their purpose, that is man, not God. Because one seeks to remain strong in their faith and beliefs, does not make them the enemy. Yet, we are constatly seeing the comments, the insults, the accusations.

Conspiracy minded much? Possibly, or not.

When I read and I watch and I listen, and I recognize the fear in others around me. Think back, not that far back, before this pandemic began. Think back, to before the last U.S. presidential election. Think back and think of how slowly over the course of time, so much has changed. How much fear has been instilled within the population, not of one country, but of all. As a reminder, I do stay as far away from politics as possible, so this is in no way meant to be a political post.  It is my thought, and only that, we need to stop fearing the fear and be strong in what is right, true and just.

Not ready to release summer just yet.