September Twenty-fifth; Priorities

Mom pointed it out…

In the conversation with mom this morning she asked me at least twice what I had plans for doing today. At that moment, my plans were to do housework interspersed with attempting to catch up on my email notifications. At this point there are 1,024, so just a few. In reality I know catching up is basically impossible as some of the talented folks I follow are very prolific publishers. After mom asked the second time what my plans were, she told me that I needed to clean up where my garden was. Most of it has died and become overrun with weeds due to the plastic moving and the actual vegetable plants succumbing to nature’s timing leaving space for said weeds.  Truth be told, I am waiting on the weather to turn cool enough that any reptile that may be resting under that plastic will be lethargic enough that I can safely relocate and or move away from. Then I can pull up and dispose of the plastic, move the fencing and take my push mower that can to the weeds and be done with it all. We’ll see though if I’m allowed that wait as dad tends to get impatient and annoys mom which has mom calling me. So, time will tell.

The thing is, I know mom. She has something she wants me to do, but doesn’t want to ask. She wants to make sure I’m not busy with other things. Dad has possibly bothered her about something, just not enough to tell me yet. She needs something moved, she needs something done that requires standing on a chair or something which she can no longer do. Right now though, she doesn’t want to ask. But she will.

And speaking of dad, he called. Recently I went with him to load his truck with scrap wood that had been given to him. It wasn’t heavy, just a bit awkward and in a mountain of a pile that I managed to slip and nearly fall while reaching for the next piece. I wasn’t hurt or even embarrassed, I was simply reminded of the need to be careful. When we loaded his truck, he told me that what we had would probably be enough and we would not have to go back for more. Those kind and generous folks, no sarcasm as its true, told dad they have more wood for him and he was wondering when we could go. You know, when I didn’t have anything to do.

Yesterday my mom called me several times. She didn’t reach her record though which is six times in one day. Mom and dad live right next door. Less than a football field away. But in truth, they are up in years and walking has become difficult at times. Both use a cane when they remember and aren’t too stubborn to admit that it is helpful in preventing falls. Neither like admitting that they are unable to do all the things they once did easily.

Am I complaining? No. I am very blessed that my parents are still with us. I am blessed that I am able to be here for them. Even if I do roll my eyes when I see their number show up for the incoming call I answer and I listen and respond accordingly. I thank the Good Lord every night in my prayers for their presence.

That, is why I don’t work. Not because I am physically unable, but I feel my presence is needed here. I can hear in mom’s voice when she calls, that she needs a few minutes away from dad. We don’t have to go far, or for very long, just take a drive to give her space. I can tell, when it is something that dad has been bugging her that needs doing, and if I can accomplish the task I will. If he is argumentative, both my son and I have learned the tactics to distract him and give mom breathing space. Dad means no harm, it is all age related, we know that. It is simply taxing on her.

I won’t lie though, and say that it doesn’t bother me, not having extra money to spend. I have enough to pay bills and that is what is important. For those who may have seen my posts about the trip to Tennessee and then later to Darlington, my son saved up for and paid almost every dime on those trips. I won’t lie that it doesn’t bother me not being able to pay my share.

I won’t lie, that it doesn’t bother me saying that everyone who doesn’t have a job is lazy and waiting for government hand outs. I also won’t deny that it probably true in some cases, but not all. Not all by a long shot. For me, my parents and seeing to their needs are more important than a dinner out, a new wardrobe or even flowers for the yard. They have been there for me many times, being here is the least I can do for them.

I think so many have become so self absorbed they forget that life is not all cut and dry. Life is not simply black and white with no gray areas. Maybe, in some way, it helps those who make the comments or post the various memes feel better. They possibly feel some justification due to having to what ever issue they may have faced during their day. Yes, I know businesses are hurting and in need of employees. I see the signs, trust me, I see them. And I feel guilty though I have no reason to.

Yet, I feel that people in their bid for making a point, are missing the point. Not everyone is lazy. Not everyone is seeking hand outs. Not everyone is not actively seeking employment.Many are, but for various reasons are having no luck. I see those posts also.

Some like me, have priorities. My parents need me, and I will be here for them, in every way I am able. I will not be made feel guilty for that.

The time spent, and the relationship I have with my parents, is more beautiful than any yard filled with flowers.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
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6 Responses to September Twenty-fifth; Priorities

  1. Lin says:

    As you know already, being able to retire and take care of my dad and then later my mom was one of my greatest accomplishments.. As you said your parents (and mine) took care of us much longer than we will take care of them. ❤

  2. Being there for your parents and helping out whenever “they” ask you to is really a blessing. Feeling guilty about not working shouldn’t even enter anyone’s mind. Take care and be happy. 🌹

  3. Johanna says:

    That’s wonderful that you are there for your parents! I’m sure it means the world to them to have you so close and involved with them.

    • thank you. It does. It is also good that it isn’t just me. My sister-in-law lives on the other side, and her daughter and her family live directly in front of them. So we make it a family affair in taking care of them.

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