Day 263; Counting Change, Counting on Change

 The rain finally arrived.

It has been heavily overcast here for most of the day. It seemed that at any moment the rain would start falling, but it held off until just moments ago. Now, just after nine in the evening, I’m listening to the rain, tree frogs rejoicing and a few night birds determined to be heard. For now, I sit here, listening, and contemplating the day.

My son and I went today and purchased what we thought would repair the wood stove. We still didn’t get it repaired. Due to a sudden influx of shoppers, we couldn’t find the proper washers. He thought he had the right ones, but nope. It didn’t matter anyway as I simply don’t have the strength to hold that metal plate considering the weird angle I was having to try and manage it from. Hopefully he will drop by the handy dandy hardware store on his way home tomorrow and get the correct washers. Then maybe he can convince his cousin to give him a hand. If he can get one nut in place, he can manage the rest.

My son had actually followed me to the store,after we made the purchase he left for home and I headed to the Jeep dealership to pick up a bag of goodies for the Jeep Show and Shine coming up. (Yearly fundraiser for the Love Like Lauren Foundation). I parked my Jeep and got out to see a penny on the pavement right outside my driver’s door. 2017, the year my husband died. I went in and got the bag and left, the penny in my pocket. Then back to a different big box store for pet food and goodies for my son since he does so much for me. When I got back home the light was blinking on the answering machine.Mom, I had forgotten to call her.

While I was sitting here after talking with mom, it dawned on me that I needed to call and make an appointment for my dogs for shots that are due. When I called and told them I needed a Monday, I was told that they could do it today at 5PM. My son agreed to that so it was set. I need him to go because Bella and Molly have such different personalities. Bella is all alpha touch and drama queen while Molly is terrified. She has this super pitiful expression and refuses to go into the building. My son had to actually pick her up and carry her inside when we got there. When the vet came in to give the shots, I got them to give me a muzzle for Bella as she tends to be snappy. The vet gave her the shot before she realized what was happening and she didn’t even have time to growl. Molly took it like a champ, but really turned on the pitiful, but that mean man gave me an owie, look.  Since I had called mom before we left, I called to let them know we were back. It gets annoying, but if it keeps her from worrying, I’ll call her to ease her mind.

Be it every so humble, there’s no place like home.

If only it were so easy with everything else going on around us. If a phone call could calm the stress that we are all under. If only the rain falling outside could wash away the fears, the worries, the sickness, the dark emotions. There is so much going on around us that it is easy to become overwhelmed. It is easy, to lose track of what we want to happen, expect to happen, and what can really happen.

Because of the virus, a lot has happened. A lot of people have lost their jobs. A lot of people are in need of help financially. A lot of people are in need of medical treatments, and not just for Covid. A lot of companies are in desperate need of workers. A lot of companies have workers who have worked up to and beyond exhaustion. A lot of information and misinformation is being spread. A lot of people are reaching the breaking point.

If only the rain could wash away the frustrations, the fear, the multitude of events and emotions that are making life difficult. All of this is making it harder to get along.

Today, while I was in line to check out at the big box store, the lady checking out was paying in cash, and using a good bit of change. I wasn’t paying that much attention, I was fighting the desire for that big bar of special dark chocolate. The gentleman in front of me turned to face me at one point and muttered something a tad sarcastically about ‘counting out change’. I simply shrugged and said something along the lines of ‘we’ve all been there’. To which he said he’d never sunk that low and turned back around to watch the lady counting out change. I didn’t bother to mention that the store probably was very happy to receive every bit of change the lady had to offer.It really wasn’t that big of a deal. It didn’t take all that long. She finished, he checked out and then it was my turn.It didn’t take that long. I think I derailed his plan of getting me to get worked up and answer his rally cry to be annoyed and obnoxious. Why? For what purpose? Because you had to wait a few moments? Because you didn’t get to check your few purchases out quickly and get away?

I have some how found myself in many different groups on social media. Some I actively participate in and some I see and pretty much ignore. I belong to a couple groups for singles, I haven’t commented or attended a single meeting because every meet up that I have actually seen mentioned, were at clubs or bars. I don’t consume alcohol so there is no reason for me to be there. Many sell jewelry or cleaning supplies or weight reduction drinks or something. I don’t wear much jewelry, I have plenty of cleaning supplies and I don’t need the weight loss products, so I scroll right on by the posts. I belong to several groups and pages that support various charities. By now you are maybe thinking, so? What does that have to do with anything?

I have noticed since this nightmare we have been dealing with began, we are losing our understanding of how things work. All of those groups and pages have their own rules to follow. They set up what they can and can’t do. They set out what they will and will not allow. In the middle of all that is going on around us, it is too easy to grow frustrated and lose understanding of what can or can’t; will or won’t happen. Not because they don’t want to do something, but because to open that door, would be creating a nightmare. You can’t do for one, and not all.Without the resources, you can’t do for all. Just because the group or page or organization or facility, can’t respond to a need, doesn’t always mean it can’t be mentioned so that individuals can help as they are able. (Understanding that some groups actually do not allow it so as to keep potential drama down.)  Remembering, the circumstances the world is in, and that individuals may not be able to always contribute.

As I mentioned, it is obvious, that there are many needs among us. Jobs were lost, though there was extra money in unemployment checks, there were stimulus checks sent out, there are those who are still in need. I won’t deny that there are those who are still sitting with hands held out, there are also those who are searching for a job. There are those who are hungry, those who are fearful of losing and some have lost their home. Some are sick in various ways. The needs are many and great. That cannot be denied. Many are helping as they are able. Groups are handing out food and supplies for example. Just because you aren’t seeing the help, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Just because a group in itself can’t pony up with help, doesn’t mean individual members won’t.

We have to remember and understand, we won’t always get what we want, when and the way we want. It may come in other ways, handled in a different manner. We shouldn’t be the guy turning around and mutter in sarcasm about counting change. We should be the ones who smile, who compliment employees who are doing their best, who leave just a little extra for a tip, who pay it forward every chance we get. We can, should we so choose, be the ones, who bring about a change in attitude, by making a change in ours.