September Second; Thoughts on Missing Out

Missing out.

I have still not seen any signs of the missing kittens. Every once in a while I hear a thump under the house, but that could very well be one of the other kittens that I do see. I really hate to think that the kittens are under the house never seeing daylight because mom cat keeps them there. On the other hand, two of the three kittens out back are letting me pet them when I feed them. Still, I wish I knew about the others. They are missing out on the attention they could be receiving.

There are many types of missing, I think along this journey, we may face and endure most if not all.

Missing out.

Now, this drives my son crazy. Even as an adult with an understanding of what is going on, that doesn’t stop the feeling of missing out. When I went to purchase a new vehicle, I knew I wanted a Jeep. I also knew that as being the one responsible for payments and having no cushion to fall back on, I had to be the responsible adult and purchase what I knew I could pay for. Even as I glanced in the direction of the Wranglers of various types, I ended up with my Compass. Also now, I love this Jeep. It is comfortable, it is economical, it is dependable.

 In a bid to find ways to get out of the house and stop my son’s harassment to get out of the house,. I joined a Jeep group. It is a wonderful group filled with members who act as a family. They care about each other and the community. Most however drive Wranglers and Gladiators, you know, real Jeeps. The ones that get noticed. So with every mention of this or that or the other Jeep being seen, but not mine, there is that feeling of missing out. I do also realize that to be seen, one must be visible. So I have decided to start working on that. Volunteering and helping out more. I also realize, that doesn’t always work. 

Many of us have seen, or even been, the child who doesn’t fit in with their peers. They are different in some way, real or perceived. They are the ones ignored, pushed aside, laughed at cruelly. They are the ones who see and hear of the parties to which they aren’t invited. They are the ones who sit alone at lunch or can’t find a seat on a near empty bus because they aren’t cool enough to sit with anyone. They are the ones who deal with being bullied in any and all manner. All while watching others have those memorable experiences of growing up, while they miss out. 

We can try to talk to our children, try to help them find ways to understand, all the while knowing that understanding the actions of others, doesn’t stop the pain caused. We can create events for them, but without peers, it isn’t the same. I have seen the pictures and videos of those who step up for the forgotten and ostracized child. The football player, the motorcycle groups, the other, older students who step up and step in to make a difference. Every one has brought a smile. I read an article of where parents of a differently abled child made sure that their child was not left behind in anything. They worked hard with that child to make sure they were able to do, to the best of their ability, all the things they were never supposed to be able to accomplish. Creating ways for that child to succeed and ways to educate other children as to those different than them.

 My thoughts, our children need to be taught more than reading, writing and arithmetic. They need to be taught compassion, understanding, empathy. The lessons need to come from home first then outward. They need to be strengthened in all outside the home settings. In restaurants, at church, in school. Lessons that they will learn and take with them. No individual, is better than any other. 

My thoughts? Our children need to understand their differences don’t make them inferior. Their differences can be a super power. Their differences don’t make them less, they can make them so much more if they learn how to utilize that difference. In the article I read, a child that should have never been able to do much of anything, is a model, a spokesperson for several agencies, has many agencies representing them, and does speaking engagements to educate students about others with disabilities.

It isn’t only the young. Many adults are ostracized if they are the least bit different than those around them. If they dare to see things in a different light, if they talk, walk or act differently they are to be avoided. If beliefs or education or social status doesn’t fit the group, they are to be avoided.

They see it. They recognize it. They usually understand. That doesn’t make it any easier when they feel as if they are missing out.

The world is going through  many changes quickly. We don’t know and can’t accurately predict from moment to moment what may happen. People of all types are around us. Thoughts, beliefs, social status, job status, financial status, education all are varied.Just because one is different, does not mean they should be cast aside. More often than not, the difference should be embraced. We can learn from each other if we so desire. We can learn from each other and those differences should we try. It is those who refuse, those who avoid, those who cast others aside, who are truly missing out.