I wish I had some chocolate ice cream. Not just plain chocolate, but with added extras, like mint or chocolate chunks. Something rich and yummy. Something I could drown in chocolate syrup. But, I don’t and I’m not going out after any. I’m learning more and more how I can deal with not getting what I want and actually be okay with doing without.
Funny things have been going on. I will admit that since I retired, I don’t get in a hurry getting dressed in the mornings. This morning as I was working on my, If I Could Ask For a Gift blog, I stopped in the middle of working on it and went and got dressed. After I returned to write more, I received a phone call that needed immediate attention. I would have gone dressed or not, but thankfully I was dressed. I’m also finding lots of pennies all of a sudden. One was even in my shoe. I guess my guardian angel has been working over time.
As I got back to the house this morning, I did wander around the yard checking to see if yesterdays winds and rain caused any damage but I didn’t find anything. For that I was very thankful. I needed to go for groceries but dad had an appointment for an eye exam and I wanted to wait on them to get back home before I left. There wasn’t any particular reason, but I waited. When they hadn’t returned after several hours, I wandered down to walk their dog. As I was getting the dog back inside, they pulled in to their garage. I made sure they knew it was me in the doorway so I didn’t scare them.
I may never have mentioned it here, but I really dislike going grocery shopping. I did manage to find most of what I was looking for, which really wasn’t all that much. I did have to work my way around the pallets and racks of items they were putting out on the shelves. All that back to school stuff. I did have to worm my way around people who seemed in another world. I did nearly cry when the cashier told me the total. How could so few things cost so much? I did make one smart move. Before I went into the store for groceries, I went into the near by dollar store and purchased new stainless steel bowl for the dogs. A dollar each there, nearly five dollars in the other store. Every saving counts.
While I was in the big box store, as I was crossing from one area to the next, I passed the aisle where hats were hanging. Have I mentioned that I have a serious love of hats? I did stop, look and even try one or two on, in the end returning them to the shelf and moving on. Would I have liked to have brought one home with me? Easy answer, yes. Did I need another hat? Easy answer, no. When the cashier announced the total was I glad I had not purchased the hat, easier answer, oh yes.
I have learned to stay out of the gardening center of any store. I have the same weakness for flowers that I have for hats. My now late husband was an enabler. he was constantly buying plants for me to add to the garden or hang from the porch. But I’ve learned, that wildflowers are just as pretty as the store bought. I have come to understand, that just like the ice cream, I can really want something, but I’m just fine if I don’t get that want. Or as my mother always told us, “You’re old enough for your wants not to hurt you”. And I am. The dogs have new bowls, we have groceries in the house, and my contentment has over ridden my wants and my heart is at peace.
Words from The Dirt Road 