Lets begin tonight with a tale of two dogs.
I have to look up the paperwork for actual birthdays, but Bella is around 8 and Molly 2 years old. The older Bella gets, the more grumpy and ‘don’t touch me’ she gets. Especially at the vet’s. Guess where we had to go today? Both were a little overdue for a visit, plus Bella, who is allergic to flea bits, was having a difficult time. She has done a number on her coat by biting and scratching.
I had made the appointment for today so that my son could go with me and help. There was simply no way I could handle both dogs due to their different temperaments. We get both dogs in the car and start out. Bella sits calmly and watches the world go by. She wasn’t happy with the first turn because she knew then we were not going to the mountain to hike, but maybe somewhere else nice. She was getting a car ride after all. Then we have Molly. Poor, sweet, pitiful, cowardly Molly who cried the entire way. Even Bella was giving here those, ‘will you just shut up??’ looks.
Arriving at the office, I get out and get hold of Molly’s leash, my son gets Bella and inside we go. After checking in, we take a seat on a nearby bench. Molly ends up in my son’s lap. All 60.2 pounds of her. Bella is sitting in front of me just watching the world pass by.
Then, we are called back. They start with Molly who puppy dog eyes and all, did fine. She was afraid, and she pulled that drop to the floor dead weight move a couple of times, but she ended up being a good puppy and getting through the exam with few problems. I recommended they muzzle Bella as she did not like anyone messing with her at all and I really didn’t want anyone getting hurt while trying to help her. To say that Bella was not a happy camper is putting it very mildly. She growled, she tried to but thankfully couldn’t snap at anyone, even with my son right in front of her, she was not going to make the exam easy for anyone.
After they were finished with Bella all 57 pounds of her, my son took her out to the car. Molly needed a final shot and then they would get all the medicine I needed for Bella. After Bella left and the Dr. and assistants left the room, Molly just plopped herself down in the floor and waited. Every sound she heard caught her attention and got a reaction of curiosity. Finally they brought everything in to me and we headed for the front to pay. Did I mention that the vet’s office has big glass doors and we parked almost directly in front of them and Molly could see the car? Yeah, it was a battle holding onto her while I got the bill paid.
Bella has always been and is, this incredibly intelligent canine. She understands what you tell her. But she does not like being poked and prodded and given injections by strangers. Molly has a degree of intelligence, but nowhere near Bella’s level. Molly has these huge puppy dog eyes that gives her the appearance of being so pitifully sweet. Bella tolerates our official cat, Molly loves her like crazy. The drive home from the vets was much quieter. Bella stretched out across the seat and Molly in the back staring out the window. When we got home Molly jumped right out of the car and Bella became very stubborn. I’m pretty sure she was thinking she had earned a visit to the mountain for tolerating that indignity. My son finally got her out of the car and into the yard.
So even though both dogs, while close in size had similar reactions to what was happening. Molly was terrified of the unknown but when she saw what was happening didn’t hurt, she was okay. Bella was okay until the doctor had to check out her skin which did bother her, so she then got angry and afraid. Fear of the known and unknown. Anger, over a painful touch, even though it is meant to heal.
I wonder, how often I am just like my dogs? I am ashamed to think that it is much too often. Too many times I have started out attempting to do something, go somewhere and be terrified. The fear of the what if and maybe and any other wrong thought that could enter my mind making me not want to go. At times, succeeding and preventing me from participating in something good. Leaving me sitting here unhappy and kicking myself out of frustration. How many times, have I managed to actually go somewhere, only to hang back, to find a quiet spot out of the limelight? How many times have I growled at the thought of embarrassing myself? How many times, has none of the bad things I feared happened and I headed home content?
I know, and even though I know, fear is still the thorn in my side. It is the thing that holds me back and prevents me from accomplishing so many things. I know, that God did not give us a spirit of fear, https://www.openbible.info/topics/god_has_not_given_me_a_spirit_of_fear
Fear is not of or from God. It is the whispers from the dark that seeks to make us less capable, less strong, less. If we listen and believe. Imagine how much better life could be, how much more we could accomplish, if we did not allow fear to take hold. I ask myself that as well. I am getting better, slowly but at least moving forward. I have done a few things that I would have been afraid, for many reasons, to attempt before. The fact that I did them, has made a difference in me and the way I perceive the reactions around me. Each good thing, every good reaction, is a wonderful step of confirmation.