I am starting this very early. It is usually closer to ten at night when I do this post script for the day, but a storm is coming. I see the dark clouds approaching and hear the thunder rumbling ever closer. Within the time span of a few short minutes, the day has turned to twilight as the skies cloud over and the winds pick up. My dogs are both already inside, having heard that first rumble of the thunder beast and crying as only dogs are able, ran to the door. Currently they are stretched out on the floor near me, but with every sound from the approaching beast they look toward the windows, waiting. Ever so often, Molly in an act of bravado will bark at the beast, daring it to keep its forward movement. Which of course it does.
I was concerned for my son who had ridden his motorcycle to work, hoping he would get home before the storm. Thankfully he drove down the drive moments before the rain began and is has begun. The outer bands of what is approaching has arrived.
I’m glad for the rain as my garden looked very much in need earlier. Even though I had watered it last night very thoroughly, the severe heat of today sucked the life out of most of it. Everything seemed to have wilted and had leaves turning an odd shade of yellow. Here is hoping we get enough rain to help as I was still hoping for a little more time and a little more produce. I did notice that dad’s blueberries are beginning to ripen, so I’ll gather my share of them soon. Dad has one bush that is his and his alone. The others are first come first served.
Friends from church brought more fire wood today. Most cut and split while there are a few pieces that need to be downsized. I helped to offload it beside my driveway. I’ll begin the process of moving it after this storm system passes through. Of course if its only rain, it might be cooler working in the rain. My mother made a comment on how she knew where to get wood if she needed any, then immediately said, “I’m joking”. I know mom, but yes, if you need wood, its here.
I tried to get some walking in today as I’ve been slacking in that department. I did manage to get just over 6000 steps but then the approaching storm made itself known. Its just as well, I had been out there walking in that little circle, once again mentally going over all the things I would love to say to the company, who I felt did me wrong. Even though, I know that in the end it worked out for the best. This pride thing is a beast that clings to my shoulders, whispering in my ear and not allowing me to move on. It is my albatross and I need to rid myself of it as it is doing me no favors. As the clouds had approached, I walked my hot, sweating, resentful self back around the house and inside.
I had put the meat for our evening meal in the slow cooker hours ago, I went to prepare a rice dish in the microwave, but no matter what I tried, I could not read the incredibly fine print on the packaging. I took it to my son and asked, what do I need? He laughed, until he went to read it himself, then he understood. It wasn’t only that the print was done in micro sized fonts, but the colors on the packaging added a whole different level of difficulty. In the end he told me what I needed to know and I headed back toward the kitchen.
I now sit here, listening to the microwave in the kitchen and the thunder monster approaching. I’m hoping that the kittens are safe under the house as the drain pipe that runs under the house would not be a safe place when the rain begins.
I contemplating how in their moment of fear, both dogs knew where to go. They knew who to run to for protection, where their shelter is.
Those from church have brought, and may bring more wood. Wood that is mostly cut and split, ready to burn. They did not have to do this, because that is a lot of work and it won’t be them who reaps the benefit of that work, but I hope and believe they will reap the blessings for their care and generosity. They are following the commandment to care for the orphans and widows. I hope they realize how very thankful I am.
My emotions, my anger and resentment, are prisons of my own making. They are something that I need to release and move on. They hold no constructive purpose, in fact they hold the opposite. Negative feelings are a cancer to the soul, a darkness that hides the light. As long as I hold onto them, I am chained to that experience and can not move forward.
Tonight, I know what my prayers will hold, as this has been a part of my thoughts too long. I’m glad to know too, that the Lord understands my emotions. He understands my frustrations and pain. He doesn’t hold that against me.
What I am glad of though, is that finding out the instructions and reminders, I need to move forward, to be stronger, to be more at peace, are not written in a way that is difficult to comprehend. They are written openly, ready for me to read and understand what I need to do to heal and move on. The words are there, the message is there for anyone. Even though there may be things that are difficult for someone not versed, there is always someone ready and willing to explain.
My two dogs, so near panic when the thunder beast first began its approach are now calm, relaxed, at peace in their assurance of safety. They knew where their shelter and strong tower was. As I sit and look at them, I am reminded yet again, in a simple way, just where my shelter and strong tower waits for me. All I need do is run to Him.