As a teenager, I had a plan. I was going to be an award winning author. My works were going to be so good and so well received that I would have walls of awards and symbols of recognition. I had been told I had a gift and a way with words, I needed to use that gift. Looking back from here, I see the arrogance in that attitude more than I see the dream. In my immaturity, I saw the rewards without considering the effort that would be needed to reach them.
As it was, I allowed myself to be distracted. The work required was more than I was willing to put into the reaching those dreams. I was not focused or determined enough. Then, it was one of those nice dreams where you suddenly have a completed novel in your hands and the world is clamoring at your feet for it and more. You stand on a podium and look out upon your fans, while basking in your accomplishments. While your mind works on the next great contribution.
Your books are winners. Your books bring about world peace. Your books answer the unanswerable questions.
Then, life takes even the dreams.
I found myself in situations I would have never in my wildest of writer’s imaginations thought possible. From my early twenties until I reached my late forties, early fifties, my writing was relegated to letter writing and grocery lists. Yet, they say the soul of an artist never dies. It may go into a state of hibernation of become suspended in time, but it still lives. It needs only that spark to return it to a full blaze. When my writing began to return to me, I wrote and self published two inspirational poetry collections and a young adult novel that was well received by all ages who read them. Yet, world renown did not magically appear and I become disillusioned and disappointed and wandered away to pout.
Then I began this journey of writing and quest to find my voice. This is becoming an amazing and inspiring adventure. One where I hope to turn what could be daily distractions into adventures and ponderings of events and how they can inspire and encourage.
As I sit here considering my past dreams and how I was distracted from a hoped for future, I wonder about those who were with Jesus the Christ, even if only momentarily. Like the rich, young ruler; https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+10%3A17-31&version=NKJV His wealth distracted him from the life he could have had in following Jesus.
The disciples each had their own lives before they were called. Yet they answered and followed. For three years they walked with Jesus, the heard His words and His teachings. They saw the many miracles. They knew Him to be the One who had been foretold. They did not allow the distractions of the daily, to take them away. It may have caused issues from time to time as they learned, but it also brought about a deeper understanding. When Jesus was crucified, hanging on the cross, His death even though they had been warned, seemingly and end to all that had been done. Seemingly a stop to all that would have been done. The disciples could have allowed that death to distract them, cause them to run away and scatter. Instead they gathered together to discuss, what now?. When the word came that Jesus was alive, when it was confirmed to them He lived, their joy was overwhelming. When the Holy Spirit came upon them, they then proceeded to go about the task set before them. Even as they knew, it would eventually mean their death, they did not allow themselves to become distracted.
Currently, there are a lot of things going on around us that could distract us. If you believe in conspiracies, we are living in a magicians slight of hand. We are being shown one thing, while something nefarious is going on behind us. Or maybe even right before our eyes, we are just misdirected. Even if you do not believe in conspiracies, with everything going on, the pandemic, the job situation, those who are suffering health, or finance wise. With politics, with social issues, it is one thing on top of another on top of another keeping us distracted and separated from each other. Each thing added one more distraction, one more thing to keep us too busy to find balance and truth, Each thing one more way to weaken and prevent people from coming together to correct and build a better life. Driving many to a point of being too afraid to really live. Distracted from the beauty, by the ugly. Distracted from the joy by the anger. Distracted from the love, by the hate.
I may never reach that award winning author status, but that is no longer my dream and focus. Right now, my hope and desire, is to use these words to plant a few seeds. To plant hope, to plant peace, to plant reassurances and encouragement. To plant love and hope to see it grow through the reactions of the reader. I hope, to never be distracted from that plan and purpose.