Day169; Footnotes of A Feeling

Maybe, just maybe, it was residual feelings left over from the dream of my late husband. Maybe not. Maybe it was from lack of sleep last night. Maybe, it is any number of reasons but what ever it was, it turned today into one of those off days. One of those days where I was feeling sad and a bit lonely. Something that doesn’t happen as much now.

Maybe, that was why when they came to get the wood splitter I was slightly more talkative. Knowing that it was going to get hot today and they really needed to get busy if they wanted to get much done. I still talked. I wasn’t clingy, but I wasn’t pushing them out of the drive and away.

When they were finally gone and I was again alone, I sat here and contemplated what could be bothering me and why I was allowing it to happen. I might as well have been contemplating the makings of the universe. I realized some of what was bothering me, but I also realized there was nothing I could do about those things. I also keep reminding myself that there is a time and season for everything, including beginnings and endings. When the endings come, through what ever means, all we can do is accept and walk away. We can’t hold onto what is meant to leave. If we have our hands occupied holding onto the past, they aren’t open to receive the gifts of the present and future.

While I was sitting here thinking great thoughts, something outside caught my attention. The cat who had her kittens in the ceiling space of my house, had finally brought her babies outside. I watched as the three kittens played in the grass-okay weeds. They chased and wrestled and pounced as kittens are champions at doing. They are oh so cute. And mom cat’s timing was perfect. The babies were the prefect distraction from a less than wonderful mood. I went outside and sat on the step watching them, but not trying to get close. Mom watched me but she showed no signs that she thought I was any threat to her young.

When I got the message that they were on their way with the wood I called my dogs inside and got ready for their arrival. One had brought the wood, one had brought the splitter. I walked down to open the building to put away the splitter, then back to the house to help unload wood. I’m going to have to move it from where they unloaded it, but that was the easiest place. I wasn’t about to ask for any special favors. I’m fully capable of moving it and stacking it out of the way. After it was unloaded they hung around to chat for a while. They had no idea how great that felt. To have people wanting to just visit and talk.

When my son got in from work I showed him the wood pile, which of course he made a comment about where it was. He got quiet when I told him that was where I told them to unload it and I could and will move it myself. I then showed him the video of the kittens. Which explained his questions about the weird blockade I had constructed over the drain pipe. He also knows that now we can finish that barricade to keep the cats from going back up into the ceiling area.

After supper I went out to walk. The sun was going down and had made the sky a glorious orange red color. I didn’t try to take any photos as I had a very limited view. I only managed a little over 6700 steps, but at least I got that. I did some thinking as I walked, and I think I made some good headway on that season over thing. It was dark and my security light had came on. I could have kept walking, but I had to walk around a dark house and I really prefer being able to see what I may be about to step on. 

When I came around the corner of the house, the kittens were on the steps. One didn’t jump down quickly enough. I was talking with it and held my hand out. Little bugger spat at me. I pulled up a stem of what ever weed that is growing near my steps and used it to pet the kitten. I got my hand fairly close, but the point was getting the kitten accustomed to my presence and of being touched by something. I hope they move to under the house as they are calling for heavy rain this weekend. If they don’t move before I’m sure they will once the rain starts falling and water moving through that pipe. 

I did notice something else. One of the cats that I had been calling Itty Bitty. Ain’t itty bitty any more. She appears ready to pop. Just what we don’t need, more kittens. But, when you have fully intact cats, you get kittens. I’m going to have to check to see if there is anyone close who will do the spaying without costing me a fortune that I don’t have.

The main thing though, my day started out lonely and a bit sad. That God provides thing? He really does. Through friends and through cats, He provided the distractions I needed to work my way through the emotional day. He also gifted me with firewood and the need to relocate said wood. For a day that started feeling, off. It is ending with a content of heart, peace of soul feeling. I am content.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
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5 Responses to Day169; Footnotes of A Feeling

  1. ‘If we have our hands occupied holding onto the past, they aren’t open to receive the gifts of the present and future.’ I’ll keep this phrase! Thank you.

    • You are very welcome. even though I can’t take credit for the phrase. It is a paraphrase of something I have read somewhere along the line. But it is a good thing to remember whoever wrote it.

  2. Sarah Davis says:

    I appreciate how you appreciate and document an ordinary day. We used to have lots of barn cats and kittens, but the farm Jack Russell got rid of all of them over the years.

    • I try to enjoy my days like those last few lines in Hook, where Wendy and Peter were talking and Wendy said something about the adventures being over and he told her “To live, is an adventure” Being able to find the adventure in the day to day for me, is precious and special. As for these cats. These I worry about. We’ve had cats hanging around before, but they never last long. Coyote, cars on the main road, what ever predator lurks..but you want to do something different when you look and see them staring in the window watching you as if asking for some form of help they are still even afraid of.

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