I know, in my hurried blog this morning, I mentioned that today would have been my late husband’s birthday. I really don’t know if birthdays are celebrated in Heaven. I know that many do still like to recognize special days such as birthdays, of those who have gone on. We want to remember those who were a positive part of our life, Those who were instrumental in helping us to become who we are.
Disclaimer; my late husband was not perfect, we argued and had our moments just as anyone else who is a part of the human race. But just like others who are a part of the human race, he had many good points.
This is a condensed version of events.
When he found out we were expecting, he sought and found a better job in a totally different field. Part of me believes that this move played a large part in setting the dominoes into motion. Yes, he was a smoker, but he didn’t have any real issues with his lungs. The new job had him going into something he called a blast freezer. Anything moved into this unit would be frozen solid in less than thirty minute. Maybe less, its been a long time. He was there a little over ten years. then the business closed. He found another job in the same field not far away.
Another ten year tenure and then that place closed.My husband did not have that all important piece of paper called a high school diploma. It was almost impossible to find another job. That was when he went into trucking. A man who had been very few places, now crossed and crisscrossed the country.
By now though, he was having breathing issues and extra weight didn’t help. But he was determined to earn a living and provide for his family. He would call home checking on us, or needing help in finding a shipper or receiver. At that time we didn’t have smart phones. We were probably some of the last hold outs but we were doing okay. If only we had known then, life would have been easier on all of us.
I have said, the day I got the news of his death, my world tilted. Just as it does for anyone who loses a loved one.
When we lose someone who is an important part of our life, there will always be an empty spot in our heart and mind. Life does go on. The agony of loss begins to ease. But nothing will ever be the same. There will always be the missing of the missing person. Especially if that person was one who was a positive part of life.
Ever so often a meme will make its way around telling the reader to always tell those you love, because you never know when their time will be up. Or yours. Are you living your life in such a way that you will be remembered with fondness and love? Will you be the person who everyone remembers good thing about?
I know a lady who greets everyone with the same kind of love. She has so much love within her heart for others, it overflows and floods a room the moment she walks in. She greets everyone, even those who are not so close by. She offers waves, handshakes and without hesitation hugs. She remembers names and she calls or asks of others, by name. None of it is an act. It is all her and her heart. She not only has and expresses love, but every other good emotion that comes with it, compassion, kindness, gentleness, encouragement…the list could go on forever.
No, we all don’t have that gift. Yes, some of us have reasons to mistrust others and hold back a part of ourselves. But there are other ways to be remembered.
Volunteer for what interests you. A civic group, a charity group. A homeless shelter or shelter for abused.
Use skills to help others. I remember reading years ago of a gentleman who learned to crochet and made hundreds of caps for newborn babies.
Be a tutor. Read to and help kids learn to read.
Step away from yourself, and use your talents and abilities to help make your home, your neighborhood, your town better. Start out small and keep building.
I know of an individual who walked down a major roadway picking up trash. Someone else cleaned up a store parking area. Both were applauded though neither sought attention for themselves, only what was needing to be done.
Be the one who remembers truck drivers sitting in truck stops away from home. Consider the delivery people who are bringing in those online orders. Remember the people who come out to repair or replace. It doesn’t have to be fancy, a pack of cookies and a bottle of water/soda/Gatorade makes all the difference.
Be the one who remembers people who are in assisted living centers. Show them they haven’t been forgotten.
Be the person who shows honest concern for others.
Be the one who makes people smile.
Be the one who makes other feel good about themselves.
There is an individual in this small town who runs the youth athletics. He’s done it for years. Rather than call attention to himself and his accomplishments, he points to the kids and families who have made everything work. He deflects, but yet still shines brightly.
Yes, it is true that a person can do something so vile and horrific that their name is remembered. But never in a good way.
Be the person, that when your name comes up, not only will a smile, but that faraway look of remembering the moments that made knowing you special will arise as well. And yes, let one of the moments and memories, not be of you missing a chance to tell someone that you love then and how important they are to you. Because we don’t know when our time will be up.