Is this house ever quiet. My son went with a friend to the truck race tonight. I am not accustomed to the house being this quiet in the evening. During the day, yes. But then, mom calls multiple times a day so the quiet is broken up. Mom goes to bed just after six though so she’s long been asleep. I’ll probably turn the television on after writing this, maybe there will be something on worth the trouble. If not I have some movies on dvd I can choose from. One thing is for sure, it may be quiet here, but I know it isn’t quiet where he is. And without looking, I’m sure he also forgot the ear plugs.
I made a comment a few moments ago, that I am unaccustomed to this lack of activity. I have worked since I was sixteen. There is a lot of time between sixteen and sixty-three. Last year when I lost my job (thanks Covid) I spent my time clearing away years of neglect from my yard. When Spring arrived this year there really wasn’t nearly as much to do. Rather than raking, I mulched most of the leaves. There are things I could do, and may actually tackle this coming week, otherwise…its coffee and listening to the wind blow.
But, that won’t work. I can’t simply sit as that isn’t how I am. So, I’ve been walking here at the house. Today I managed 12,224 steps or 5.2 miles. I miss the mountain, but I need for Bella to get back up to her full self. The spray that I purchased along with the Zyrtec seem to really be helping. I’m thinking that if the places she has pulled the fur out still looks good tomorrow I may give her a really good brushing. I can’t risk her overly exerting herself and causing worse issues. When we do go back, I’m hoping to go earlier in the day before it gets too hot. I’m not sure what that will do with my writing schedule, but I’ll work it out.
I do want, and am trying, to get myself in better shape physically. I’m not overweight, just…pudgy in places. I can’t afford a gym membership so this will have to be something I do on my own. If I dare to try and have the determination of will. I wish I still had a bike. My plan would be to rig it up so that I could ride in place in my safe little carport. Hidden from prying eyes, laughing neighbors and videos uploaded to tic tok or where ever. I haven’t tried the jump rope lately. Something attempted safely behind the house away from laughing neighbors and the aforementioned video site. I did actually attempt to run a few laps around my circle, which freaked the dogs out and had them barking at me. I swear I heard, “Mom stop, you’ll hurt yourself” but then maybe no. I do have small dumb bells of various weights and my son has a chin up bar that fits in a doorway…somewhere. But that isn’t the activity I was meaning, although good in its own right, it is self centered and I miss being productive and able to see results of my activity. I also kind of, sort of, really do miss that paycheck. But then, mom calls here four, five, six times a day depending on a large variety of issues, thoughts and calamities that come up just fifty yards away from me. Going back to work would have me worried about her and dad constantly and no pay check is worth that. Since the bills are getting paid and we’re eating, I’ll deal with it.
Ever so often, I consider upgrading my wordpress to a paid site. It would offer more options, but all those fears, questions and excuses keep me from taking that step. Am I ready for that step? Would it be worth the expense? Is the content of my blog worthy? (How many people actually read it?) What are the major differences in the free and the paid? Am I really getting enough interaction-even as it is growing-Hello friends!! to take this step? I was so close to doing it with the latest fifty percent off offer, but didn’t. I really want my son who is much more technologically literate and well versed in the ways of the web to be here to assist in what ever changes will take place.
Part of it, a major part actually, boils down to, do I dare? Yes, I put myself out there with what I do now, but to take that step forward, is…different. Do I dare take that step? Do I dare risk the possibility that the results won’t be what I hoped for and should that happen, could I handle it in a mature fashion? Its really not much different than what we do every day of our life. We put ourselves out there, trying to do our best. Trying to fit in, to be accepted, to accomplish great things. Or simply, to get by without problems. With everything we choose, our every act, every word, is judged. The way we dress, what we drive, where we live. To live though, takes risks. To live means taking a gamble. To live, means speaking up. To live means taking that first step, that risk toward something better. Do I dare? Because in all honesty, finding the courage and determination to take that dare, is much better than sitting and listening to the wind.