Finally feeling better, and just in time.
My sweet Bella has a place on her hip that is giving her problems. Her skin is raw where she has either chewed the fur away or was injured somehow. You could tell that she really isn’t feeling herself and I knew I had to do something. This afternoon I went to one of the pet supply stores and found a spray for wounds. I knew there was no way she would allow us to smear a salve on the injury the way she was acting. My thoughts were a spray would be better than nothing, especially if I got it on thick enough.
I realized at one point just how badly I had been feeling. When I arrived at the pet supply store, I parked beside a Jeep Wrangler, when I went to grab a duck, I had no ducks. I had taken them out while cleaning Star, and forgotten to put them back. Frustrated at my forgetfulness even in my less than perfect state, I went to my next stop.
The big box store waited. I have one row or parking spaces that I prefer to park on. If I park somewhere on that row, I don’t have to try and remember where I parked. Smart right? One thing I didn’t remember today, look before I turn in. As I started to turn in, I saw a vehicle barreling toward me. Yes, they were going the wrong way. No, that is not unusual, which is why I try to remember to look, but today I didn’t. I did see them just in time to stop. Thankfully the car behind me, was far enough back they had time to stop as well. Funny how as the car coming the wrong way sped by me, the driver had the expression that I was to blame. Which is also not unusual.
I parked and hurried into the store for an allergy medicine that I had been told to give Bella in the past to help her with issues such as this. I was going to wait a couple days on that though and see if the spray will start the healing process but changed my mind when I saw she had made it worse.
I got home in time to see the last of the race on television. It was interesting watching them run a road course in pouring rain. I’m sure the drivers were calling it other more colorful names. I was happy that my driver ended up as winner but it would have been more exciting if it had not been due to being in the lead when the red flag fell and the race ended up being called due to weather.
I even managed, once the sun started getting low, to get some walking in. I got 5855 steps or 2. something miles but that’s better than the last several days. I’ll say straight up, it feels better to be able to move about and not feel as if the world is shifting under your feet. While I was walking, I suddenly heard kids screaming. Not the playing screaming, but the screams of kids in a panic. It turned out one of their dogs had slipped away from them and came running across the road to my fence. It was the puppy and it wanted to play. One of the adults came after the pup. I offered up a comment about panicked kids but she just grabbed the pup and left with an apology. It happens.
There are times in our life, when things happen. It could be something that is nothing more than a mild inconvenience but we build it up into a major hurdle, or it could actually be a major hurdle standing in our way. We show who we are, in how we handle what we are facing.
I will use myself as an example-because I gave myself permission to share this.
When I got the phone call at work where someone asked me about my husband and was he not home because they had heard he had been found dead in his truck. What? Yeah, I found out just that way. I really don’t hold anything against this person, because truth be told, there isn’t an easy way to tell someone that. Less than an hour later, after it was confirmed, I sat facing a multitude of hurdles, some that might as well have been burning.
Its been just over four years, every once in a while a hurdle that deals with his death will appear, but I don’t allow it to stop me. It may slow me a bit, but I keep going and that is all that matters.
When I lost my job, I faced different hurdles. I had to figure out what I was going to do, and how I was going to accomplish those plans. Plans that shifted and changed with each hurdle faced. Unemployment. No health insurance. Masks, no masks. Parents. Social distancing. Stay occupied. One followed another followed another. I ended up taking early retirement so I could be here for my parents. Still though, ever so often something new pops up to be faced, handled and crossed off the list.
Vertigo. When the world wants to tilt every time you stand up. The light headed, dizzy feeling that is worse when you, okay me, are doing something less than intellectual. The hurdle of just getting through the feeling. Flat on the bed and hoping it will pass soon.
Making peace with my neighbors. The neighbors know that I don’t like them allowing their dog to run loose. It is a pit bull looking dog that may or may not be friendly to people, but has tried to get at and fight my dogs. My concerns are over my parents and their small dog being hurt by this pit. Whether accidentally or on purpose.
The dog seems to be coming across the road less, so I’ve said nothing. I have spoken to some of the neighbors in passing. Friendly greetings in the hopes of breaking the ice and showing I’m not that hostile, unfriendly neighbor who wants to be difficult. No…I really don’t. But I will protect my parents. So, that group of hurdles are still a challenge.
Finding peace and contentment in solitude and a solitary life. Once upon a time, I moved into a place of my own and was happy. Then I made a mistake, thinking that another would add to that happiness. Even though that ended, it wasn’t long before I entered into another relationship meaning I spent no time alone. Now, to be honest, since my son still lives at home, I’m not fully, one hundred percent alone. I am not however, in a romantic relationship and I’m quite content with that. Finally.
I’ve had quite the obstacle course of hurdles to reach where I am. At peace with myself. Battling loneliness, finding courage, understanding my own strength, comprehending my own abilities and intelligence. Finding peace in my faith. Finding the strength that I needed, through believing that no matter the storm, the challenges, the hurdles, I am never fully alone. I have that assurance.
A few of mine, but we all face them. They, like the journey of life we travel, are unique to the individual. Whether it be job loss or loss of loved one, though many will face this, the feelings we feel, the actions we take are different. The hurdles are as many or as high as we allow them to become. How high, are yours?