You got my attention.
Yes, I have already written my morning blog using my prompt of the day. Once written and posted I started seeing what notifications had arrived to my email in box. Making my way down, I came upon one with the heading, “Miracles” https://wynneleon.wordpress.com/2021/05/15/miracles-2/
Reading this the voice within began speaking to me. I left this comment: “Your blog and especially the comment on getting what you need has me considering my own position. God makes sure I have what I need, but also makes sure that I trust in Him during this process of life. You have opened a door to considering His miracles and provision.”
My son has often commented to me about worrying too much. I realized that he hasn’t said that recently. (Well okay, over my concerns about fitting in with certain things yes but otherwise no.) I think, that I am reaching a much better understanding now of what the passages about not worrying mean.
I held the same job for just a few months under thirty years. I was not really happy for various reasons which are not of great importance here. I stayed because I knew the job, it was close and I thought due to longevity I was relatively safe. When I lost that position, I was very bitter at first. As time and reason returned, I realized that bitterness is a cancer that eats at our soul. I then chose to see the loss as a blessing as it allowed me to be here for my parents. The extra unemployment that so many commented negatively on, helped me remain here.
Then my unemployment ran out according to the letter I received.
When I told my mother I was considering finding work, she got all upset. They had become very accustomed to my being available. I then decided to go ahead and take early retirement. I had hoped to put that off. I had hoped to have my car paid for before I made this move. Instead, I found myself on the phone, in conversation with a very nice, very helpful, very knowledgeable individual who got everything set up. I was officially retired.
I chose to draw off my social security then when I reach full retirement age, switch to survivor benefits from my late husband’s account. I’m still over three years away.That long worded lead up brings me to this, God provides.
My social security pays the bills, with the exception of the power bill. My son pays that because of that window unit air conditioner I let him put in. So he wouldn’t freeze me out of my own home with the central unit.
Now, I really don’t have a lot of bills. The usual utility bills, and my car payment. I try to stay out of debt, using my credit card as sparingly as possible. Those government checks that were sent to us to aid those hurt by the pandemic? Those were used to pay bills, to pay my taxes, to remain afloat.Blessings, miracles.
I won’t lie. I do get envious when I see what others are able to do as they go about life. The vacations, the entertainment, the extra things that I can’t at the moment do myself. But I’m learning, I’m being taught. I like to believe that I am listening and I believe so because the envy is less as time passes.
I’m being taught that I really don’t need all the things I once thought I needed. Material things are simply that, material things to clean or worry over. Distractions. Even the flowers that I love seeing in my yard, I know are not essential items. Yet, He has provided me the gifts of plants through the generosity of others.
I’m being taught, that I need not lay up material things here, because when my time comes, it will all merely be something for someone else to worry over.
I’m being taught, that the best times, are the times that don’t necessarily cost money. To gather with friends, laughing and enjoying company is a greater treasure and memory.
I’m being taught, most importantly, trust. To trust in God, and have faith that He will see that my needs are met. He knows all that will be, and He has a plan. He has seen that I have enough to pay my bills, to purchase the food we need, and to take care of necessities. He set things in place a long time ago, so they would be ready for this moment. I may not be able to take part in everything I would like, I may not be able to purchase all that I would wish for, but I have what I need.
I’m being taught to realize and know I am blessed. My home is paid for. I live in a semi-private area with a large wooded area in my own backyard to hike. At the bottom of the hill, there is a small pond to sit near and allow the ripples on the surface draw my concerns away. Across the woods and fields, in my own yard, there are wildflowers. My family and I are relatively healthy. Our needs are met. I am learning to worry not, for I am indeed blessed. With all that I need.