It was an odd, yet touching moment. Captured not by camera, but in the mind and heart.
I was sitting here, in my usual place, doing my usual morning routine. I fed the feral cats early as they were waiting. The one we have tagged Loud Mouth is coming ever closer to coming inside the house. I am working on getting the dogs not to bark every time they see one of the strays down at my parent’s home. I’m listening to the wind through the open window and I’m enjoying my coffee. Out of the corner of my eye, I see movement. At first I thought it was my imagination but I turned to look. There was something crawling up the leaf of one of my indoor plants. First thought was MOVE its a giant spider. Instead it was a moth that had somehow gotten inside.
The moth flew from the plant to the near by window and began beating against the window in an attempt to get to the outside that was so close and yet so far away. I got up and tried to catch the moth. Even telling it I was only trying to help. Finally capturing the moth I carefully carried it in my cupped hands to the back door. Opening the door I stepped outside and opened my hands. The moth instead of quickly flying away, turned to face me. Instead of flying, it moved to the center of my palm and sat there calmly. Even as I softly told it, you’re free now, it remained. Beautiful, serene, trusting. Finally after several moments, it did fly away to its freedom.
Can a moth, or any insect show trust? Do they have a thought process or the capacity to feel? I could pop down the rabbit hole and research, but I’ll save that for a later time. Right now, I’m thinking about trust in its many forms.
My son is grown. As an infant and up through his growth, he trusted me and his dad to take care of him. Our children depend on us, whether it is a two parent, single parent or what, family, the children trust us to do what is best for them. That we will see to their needs and a few wants along the way. That we will allow their growth as we teach them to be individuals. We will see to their health in all of its aspects as we see to their learning in all of its aspects. Life has changed greatly over the course of time, and there are things that our kids and grand kids cannot enjoy that we once did. They however have their time and their fun. They trust us, even as they argue, to teach them boundaries.
I have two dogs and an arrogant indoor cat. They trust us to take care of them and make sure they have food, water and shelter. One dog has laid claim to a chair in this room, Bella has taken over my bedroom and the cat, claims the rest of the house. She is royalty after all. They trust us, they love us, you can see it in their eyes.
The feral cats outside, one is learning trust, the others are still afraid. But that fear is what helps keep them alive. To remove that would be risky for them. My desire is to earn their trust, and then seek a real home for them. I can’t bring them inside here as her highness would not allow interlopers.
Romantic partners trust each other to be faithful and true. They trust that what they are being told and shown is real. They trust that love will grow and last. Some times this is misguided, but we must trust in what is meant to be-will be.
We trust that every day, when we awaken and start our day, that we will arrive safely to our destination or complete the tasks we have planned. While this does not always happen, we trust for the best and work through what comes.
As a Christian, I trust in my Lord and Savior. I know that each moment I face, I do not face it alone. I trust that He will see me through even the things I face in fear. I trust, that my life has purpose, it is why I am still here. I have been electrocuted. I have fought cancer. I have been shot at. I was severely beaten by an ex-husband. I have been in automobile accidents. I was in what felt to be a near drowning. I jumped from a moving car. Yet, I am here. I trust there is purpose and reason. These feelings have grown over the course of the past year. I’ve had time to meditate, pray and listen. I’ve seen prayers answered, purpose fulfilled. I have felt His comforting strength and peace. I went last night to the Jeep gathering, knowing the person I usually talk with, my security blanket of sorts, was not going to be there. I went in fear, but in trust that it would be okay. It was.
Now as I await the next door opening and I reflect on what has gone by, I trust.