I knew, that I had a large area to clear between my yard and my folk’s. You know its big, you remember its big. Its only when you start doing the Spring clean up that you are shown once again, how big, is big. Not that I’m complaining- too much- but trust me when I say… its big.
When I talked with mom this morning she asked what I was going to do today and I told her I was still working on that decision. She dropped that line of discussion and moved on to how she had to get up a couple times in the night for her dog. Her spoiled, deeply loved and terrified of storms, dog. Having to spend over an hour in the wee early morning sitting with the dog, who kept making sure she didn’t doze off, left her exhausted. We talked for a while then ended the conversation. I then got up, ate something, got ready and headed outside.
My back yard, is green. My back yard has never-ever been this green in all of my memory. That goes back a way too since I grew up in this house. It isn’t grass though, its a couple of plants that are interesting in appearance, the bees love them, but the one I know if I try to mow, will simply pull them out of the ground the root system is that shallow. I was told by one that to them it looked like Chickweed. The other is a purple dead nettle.
Its funny that there is a path from behind the house to up around my storage building. I’m guessing the cats have made that a regular route. The plan now then, is to wait as long as possible before I mow. None of that is very tall and it really does look nice.
My septic tank must barely be under ground. This is the original tank from when the house was built back in the 1960’s. Every time we get a really heavy rain like we have recently the tank fills up and the toilet won’t flush properly. I had my son help me place two sheets of plywood along the side of the house over where the tank is located. That worked amazingly well, up until the past couple of weeks.
My first job of the day, was raking all of the leaves that were layered on the plywood away from there and down into the woods. That meant raking over some of the wildflowers. They seemed to come through only mildly worse for wear. I’m hoping they will stand back up over night. Thankfully, I didn’t uncover any reptiles.
My next job, was to start mulching the leaves over on the far side of the building, where my walking circle was created. I wanted to get that cleared up as I have more flowers I was given to plant.
I’d like to get that area as a garden of sorts. I have an old hard shell car top carrier that I’ve left upside down out there to fill with water. They are also full of old leaves. Once I get the flowers planted and well watered, I’ll get my son to help me empty and clean them out. I hope to get a couple of those solar fountains to keep the water moving and prevent mosquitoes from making use of the water as a nursery.
When I got around there, I first raked the flower bed that was planted last year. Once that was done, I fired up the push mower that can. If machines could actually identify with other objects, this one identifies as a bush hog. Its at least six years old and has taken a lot of abuse from me, but it keeps on going. Sounds horrible, but mows on.
Within minutes of my starting the mower, both of my dogs start going insane. I turned and looked and saw mom walking toward my yard. Yep. That was the signal. Letting the mower stop, I walked around the house to meet her. She, not seeing me leave, walked up to the fence near where I had been. I called her and then met her half way back across the yard.
She then politely, with just a little guilt trip measured in, asked me if I got the chance, and wasn’t too tired or was looking for something to do…maybe not today ..but when I felt like it or had a chance or wanted to, would I mow the weeds over their septic tank as they were getting a little high. Sure mom, you know I will.
We then got into a discussion about the roofers on the duplex, dad’s thoughts about how fast they were getting done and then about my nephew’s baby chickens. After a thirty minute conversation she wandered back home. I decided since I was stopped already, I’d get something to drink.
When I finally got back outside, I noticed just how warm it had gotten. If I hadn’t been mowing for the first time and trying to mulch all those leaves, I’d have changed into shorts. I did manage to get the main area mulched and cleared, but nothing planted. Why? Because mom’s yard waited. And I was tired. And it was hot. And, I hope to get my son to get the tiller up here. You know, excuses..um, reasons.
I let the mower cool then refilled it with gas. Pushing it down to her yard I began to mow the weeds and grass that has been neglected but still manages to grow. As I made the third pass around, I noticed dad watching me. I stopped the mower and asked him what was up.
Dad then told me, “If you’re going over there to where that pile of sticks is..I took the dog out earlier and since she wouldn’t go out front, I brought her out here. There’s a pile of mess in that pile of leaves.”
Me, “Well, I wasn’t going over there, now I’m definitely not.”
Dad,”Okay, I’ll get it cleaned up later.”
Me, “Okie dokie.”
Then restart the mower and goes back to work. Moments later I see he has made himself comfortable and was enjoying the show of my mowing their back yard. In long pants. In eighty degree heat Fahrenheit which according to google is 26.6 degrees Celsius. Lets go with Celsius. By the time I got back inside I was soaked through and exhausted.
Then I got the bright idea that I might build a small fire in the store bought fire pit out back. So I go find where I left my rake and began clearing away the leaves from where I set that fire pit. While trying not to destroy the violets that are growing in the back yard. Then I noticed that the cushions on the swing are still damp, so I got get the tarp that I was using for the fire wood and toss it over the canopy of the swing that is beginning to rot due to age.
I didn’t build a fire. I came in here, opened a window, fed the dogs, listened as my son, who did go get the tiller from my dad’s storage building(and had to nearly drag the thing up here because there was no gas in the thing) put a pizza in the oven.
Currently, I am sitting here writing this and listening to the music of the woods. The night birds, the crickets, the what ever else is joining into the song.
While I am working so hard on clearing up the yards of Winter’s debris, I’m working on the stuff that is dirtying up my thoughts, my emotions, my actions. Like anyone else, I get upset. I get angry. I get hurt. I take this, who needs you attitude when I find myself struggling alone. But then, this is the life I have created for myself and I’m actually content…most of the time.
As I work and see the ever expanding areas of cleaned yards, I work my way through what’s on my mind. I also do a lot of listening. The Lord will talk to you, He will show you things, if you take the time to hear. He will help you to understand what and why and any other question you may have. In His time. He will even help you work through what’s bothering you, if you allow. We do have that free will thing you know. And best yet, He understands that being human, we tend to have to be shown more than once. But He’s patient, because He loves us. And I know, He loves me, and is right here, listening to my words, hearing them, and feeling the feelings that flow through my heart and head. He will plant in my heart and head and spirit, exactly what is needed to help me heal and grow. So that I will be ready for the next time He has a purpose for me.
Eventually I’ll get all the Spring clearing of the yards done. It will be easier after that. It will just be Summer maintenance. Eventually, the Lord will have me understanding and accepting that letting go, really isn’t that difficult. That when I open these tightly closed fists and release that which is finished, they are now open to receive what is coming. Soon enough, I know that at the moment I am ready, it will be here. Soon enough, when eyes, ears and mind are open, I’ll see it and know, there’s the signal.
Words from The Dirt Road 