I didn’t, or at least not yet, finish cleaning the leaves up from mom’s yard. Instead, after doing the responsible thing and going for groceries, I looked at the cloudy sky, thought ‘screw it’ and decided I was taking Bella and heading for the mountain. I always seem to feel better after hiking up there. (I really need a new pair of shoes though, the ones I’ve been wearing hurt.) So I get Molly inside, make sure I’ve got all the stuff I need to take with me, then get Bella and get the harness on her. As soon as that leash was in place, she was ready to go and crying because I was moving too slowly.
It doesn’t take long to get the the Crowder’s Mountain State Park from where I live. There are certain areas though where you really want to watch your speed and pay attention because the police will get you. Just ask the three cars I saw pulled over along the way. You can see those blue lights for a long way.
The best part about going early in the day during the week, its much less crowded. Parking the car Bella and I headed for the trail. My breathing is less labored and my heart rate didn’t reach a point where I kept waiting for it to burst through my chest, but my legs. They weren’t as bad, but the back of my legs sure know how to let me know when they don’t care for something and they don’t care for that steep climb. Or those three hundred and thirty six steps. Which I didn’t take any pictures of this trip.
Up top there was maybe six people scattered around. I got Bella her water and enjoyed some myself. Once she was finished we moved over closer to the edge. Where I did take photos. The over cast sky giving it a different feeling. We sat up there for maybe twenty or thirty minutes chatting with some of the folks milling about and then began to make our way down. Well, across. I kept annoying Bella by stopping to take photos. She got even by choosing the more difficult route up and over to the trail down.
As we began to make our way down the Tower Trail, there were several young men who ran by us. This had Bella wanting to join in and run. I told her not to even think about that because it wasn’t happening. The hike down the Tower Trail is relatively easy. Its wide, its clear, it has a layer of gravel and its mostly going down.
I came up on what I was told is a Redbud tree in full bloom. It was absolutely gorgeous, and had me wishing for my Nikon instead of just my phone. Sweet Bella waited as I took photos. She has learned to wait and she usually does fine. Every once in a while she gets impatient but its rare.
As we went down, I’m guessing we passed less than half a dozen people going up. Most offered a greeting even if it was merely a wave in passing. This gave me too much time to think. The issues that have me in a state, are not things that I didn’t see coming. I knew, and I anticipated even as they told me nope, wasn’t happening. But I knew. When the voice changes so completely in tone, timber and volume. When that rough becomes that tinder just at the mention, you know. So I watch a brother of the heart move back to a love and I hope for the best. I will miss my friend and the conversations, but I will not disrespect the lady his love.
I will miss the conversations due to the fact we could discuss anything, everything, nothing, in every way from Sunday and then some. One can cover a lot in four to six hours of talking. It is the silence I dread, it tends to haunt me, but I will adapt and adjust as I have done so often in the past.
It is the silence in which I grow, I learn, I find the answers I need. It is the silence, where I find that my peace and calm, rests in the quiet. I can be who I am, without fear of disrespect, without fear of demands to change. Without fear of not being accepted because I see things the way I see them, which at times, is a bit different than others. So be it.
So Bella and I made or escape to the mountain, we enjoyed the peace, we enjoyed the walk, we enjoyed getting back home to recuperate. I’ll be going back..for now though, I guess I need to see how much gas is in that push mower and see if I can finish mulching those leaves.