This, from my blog this morning, is wrong: “Today should have been mine and my husband’s thirty-sixth wedding anniversary. It isn’t though because he died almost four years ago. The journey since that time, has not been easy. I have felt as if I were walking barefoot along a trail that no one had ever walked before. And they hadn’t. This was my trail, my path to take. I had to make my personal way from the darkness of losing him, to the top of that mountain of peace with his death. To the point where I could see the light and the view of what lay ahead of me.”
Well, maybe a bit right and wrong.
It would have been our anniversary. He did die almost four years ago. The journey has not been easy. I had to make my way from the darkness. All true.
But. “…as if I were walking barefoot along a trail that no one had ever walked before. And they hadn’t.” was wrong.
Even as I wrote that sentence this morning, it bothered me. That comment, and the following, made it sound as if I faced everything alone. That I, as a solitary figure battled storms, demons and mountains all by myself. I did not. I have never been alone in any of the storms, valleys or darkness. My Lord has always walked with me, giving me the strength to continue, and not only to make it through the storm, but to also thrive.
The Word of God tells me in Deuteronomy chapter thirty-one verse eight: The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.
In Joshua, chapter one, verse nine; Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go.
Jesus the Christ, understands our struggles. He understands our emotions. He faced the same things that we do when He walked the earth as man. While searching for verses to back up what I was trying to say, I found this blog. She explains beautifully how Jesus faced the same issues that we face: https://joannaweaverbooks.com/2017/01/11/9-verses-remind-jesus-understands/
Knowing that He does understand, has helped me in my journey. For this life is a journey. Those in Christ sojourners passing through on their way home. Showing others along the way, the love of the Lord.
When my husband was found deceased in his truck, hundreds of miles from home, it was one battle after another to get his earthly body home. Fighting through red tape was like trying to untangle miles of spaghetti. Staying home to try to get him home meant missing work, which meant losing pay. God provided by prompting people to help. They kept me afloat so that nothing got behind and we had plenty to eat.
All along the way He tried to show me He was with me. Even God’s children can be a bit stubborn and not pay attention.
Four years along, I can look back and see not just how He provided financially, but in other ways. Sending people to walk with me at various moments. A lady meeting me on the mountain that first time and showing me the way down. Talking all the way. Phone calls from friends that would last for hours. Family that would show up at strange times.
Distractions from the struggles, light in the dark.Four years along, I see my own stubbornness and know that had I paid more attention, had I listened, had I talked more through prayer and waited for answers rather than running off on my own. I would have probably reached that mountaintop long before I did.
Psalms 119:105 Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Isaiah 45:2 I will go before you and will level the mountain; I will break down the gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron.
I do know,Psalm 136:16 To Him who led His people through the wilderness, for His loving kindness is ever lasting.
Even unto the end of the age.