I didn’t go anywhere today. The furthest I went outside my house was to call the dog back inside the gate. How do I seek anything when I went nowhere? How do I seek joy, when there is so much sadness? How do I seek peace, when there is so much distress? How do I understand the lack of others, when my biggest concern is over my lack of firewood for my wood stove?
Yet, all the while, my heart is hurting. Literally, physically hurting. I hate being empathic. On nights like this, when it seems that the hurt of the world is weighing you down, and there is nothing you can do.
I’ve heard it, read it somewhere along the way, that creative people feel things more deeply. Emotions whether good or bad, weigh heavily. We tend to seek them out, feel them so as to use them. Unfortunately we also suffer from them. Right now, the pain is strong.
A local police department lost a fine, young officer in the line of duty. The county and beyond is hurting this loss. So much more so, his family and friends.
Families are losing members due to the virus or other diseases. Accidents have claimed lives.
Jobs are lost, families are going hungry.
Christmas is approaching and parents are wondering what to tell their children when there are no Christmas presents this year.
The pain is so real, so deep and thick. The fear of the pandemic and everything is has brought or taken away. Fear of fear and anything related.
How, with all this, do we find the reason for the season that we are in? How do we set aside, even temporarily the pain and suffering? Where is the joy? When I don’t have answers, I do the one thing I know, I research. I look for the answers I need.
The first question was why do we suffer? Especially when we are trying our best. Why would Covid come along or cancer or an accident, and bring pain?
So that is an explanation of that, but what about when one is hurting. What then? How can that pain be eased or maybe even used?
Doing the research, seeking answers has helped. The deep, agonizing pain from earlier has eased. Even as the hurt, concern and worry is still there for so many. Even as I wish I could take it away, I am but one person. One cannot do it alone. I have watched as many donated hundreds of toys for children. I have watched as a trailer was filled with donations for a cancer center. I have passed food banks placing bags in cars. I know that people are doing what they can to help. Even as they wish they could do more. I think, in this season, we need to remember that greatest gift ever given. Remember the immeasurable love offered. Draw in the hope that comes from that and pray for the peace and joy we are seeking.