What is more frightening than stepping out of your comfort zone? You see your zone as safe, nothing can harm you there. Living safe though, is it really living?
For a very long time I have held tight to staying in my comfort zone. Even before Covid struck and everything was locked down. I only went where I had no choice. I knew this place. Everything outside of it was scary.
I could work in my yard, I could hike the woods behind my house, I was, I thought, happy. Well I was, but there was also that nagging, there has to be more. But that something more was…..out there.
Then when the outdoor places were being reopened, I once again began going to a local state park and making use of the trails up the side of a mountain. I was out of the yard, but there, few people converse with strangers. Most are already with someone else and that is where their attention is. I would get a hello, how are you, or you’re almost there, but not much more. So my son said that didn’t count.
I was becoming a recluse. My son told me that out loud and plain. I was spending too much time at home hiding. The world was not going to come to me. People were not going to come to me. I had to get in my car and go out into the world. But the world is a scary place right now.
There is the pandemic that is firing up round two. There is the election right around the corner that has everyone all worked up. There are those without jobs and wondering how they are going to pay bills and buy groceries. Grocery shopping is hit or miss if you are going to find what you need. Getting in to see a doctor is almost impossible at times. There have been so many storms they ran out of names. On and on this strange year goes.
Still, my son called me a recluse. That, in his honest and correct observation hurt. It also inspired me.
I got up and went by myself, just me and twenty-some thousand other people to a rally. I almost ended up a statistic due to allowing myself to become dehydrated but I made it to water and was fine.I have made it a point to speak to as many people as possible no matter where I go.I volunteered to help with not one but two Trunk or Treat events. The first was last night and we all had a wonderful time. Where I live, we don’t have children visitors, I’ve always been glad the church held events, but this was the first time I’ve actually been a participant.Tonight is the second event, it will be in a more open, on the street event. I hope I have enough candy.I’ve also signed up to help hand out water at a polling place during election day.
When it comes time for these events, that fight or flight mode within starts screaming. All the internal bells and whistles start going off. The desire to stay home in that comfort zone with my coffee and big back yard is very strong. But, in all honesty, it gets lonely.This afternoon I will head out to the second event. I will be brave. I will set my mind toward the kids to come along with the laughter and the expressions of thankfulness on the faces of the parents. This afternoon, I will join a group I am a part of, even as I know so few, and I will set up to have a good time. I will step outside my comfort zone- and there is nothing much scarier than that.
Words from The Dirt Road 