Have you ever had someone ask you when you were going to do something? Have you had them encourage you, even when you doubted your own abilities? For months now, there has been a friend’s strong voice encouraging me to write. Telling me they believed in me and knew that it was something I not only should do, but needed to accomplish. I didn’t argue the point with them, I simply kept putting it off. I would work on one project from time to time, but it didn’t feel like it was what I needed to be working on. I struggled with it, so I only worked on my writing halfheartedly. Then someone out of the blue asked about any books I had written. I felt that nudge, but still felt that the current project was not the important one.
I had started writing in earnest on my blogs. Twice a day, a beginning of the day and a footnote to the day, was written and posted. I had hopes that they would be read. I had hopes that those who were accustomed to my sharing those elsewhere would follow them here. I was driven to write, whether the words were read or not. I wanted to share what was on my mind and in my heart.
All the while, the hints and whispers and encouraging words kept echoing. There was meant to be more. While the blog posts were good to a point, it wasn’t enough. While the short writes still brought the uplifting message, they were falling short. Then last night, as I was preparing to call it a night, I felt the need to write down two words. Those two words would be enough to remind me. The message that I was to share.
This morning I rose as usual. I let the dogs out, yes, I-I- I let the dogs out. I spoke to mom, I started a load of laundry and a pot of coffee. Then, taking those two words, I opened a new document and I began to write. It has begun.
During the day I did laundry, I ate and I spoke again to mom. I walked, managing to get almost eight thousand of my ten thousand step goal. Interruptions were but a brief distraction. I remembered when I wrote the young adult novel, The Legend of Dragon’s Doom (don’t let the title fool you it isn’t about destroying dragons per say) the words flowed quickly and easily. The characters following me around, telling me rapid fire what was going on. People I worked with joked with me about them, I had talked enough about them that my coworkers talked about them as if they were real to them as well. Especially the one who was always causing trouble. That was today. While this is not a fiction story, there are no characters to listen to as they ramble on about events, the words came easily and readily. Pouring out as if the dam in my mind had been holding them back until bursting today, finally freeing them.
It has finally, actually, really begun. I know this is the right project. I believe in this work, I know that there will be good to come from it in the end. While the words came easily, they were not without their pain. I am sharing a struggle that I have had since my husband died. Dividing it into parts, dissecting and examining. I will share the struggle and the overcoming of that struggle. My hope and prayer, is that those who read the words, will find encouragement to overcome their own struggles with this particular demon.