Have you ever heard the saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”? Today, while sitting here, I heard a noise. I’ve heard this sound before. It is the sound of an insect striking the screen on my storm door. I turned and watched as what appeared to be a large fly, flew into the outside screen over, and over, and over again. In all honesty, I have no idea if insects feel pain, but my thought while watching this was, doesn’t that hurt? Repeatedly flying into the screen wasn’t getting this fly anywhere. Then I realized, as I told someone else later, I was that fly. I was sitting in a chair, waiting as I have done countless times before for someone else to feel a lonely spot. With that epiphany, I gathered what I would need, I called Molly inside, got Bella’s leash and she and I headed for the mountain. I was not going to sit here and hold a private pity party.
Bella knew immediately where we were going. I am beginning to believe she could find her way there on her own. It was still early afternoon was traffic was light. When we arrived, there was plenty of parking available. Bella was as always, impatient.
When we hit the trail I saw ahead of us three young boys, their dad and their grandfather. They boys, being boys, were all energy needing to be burned. Bella, at nearly nine, is not accustomed to that so I managed to get by them and tried to get as far ahead as possible. As many times as I have been up there now, my muscles still scream and that hike up. My lungs still fight to suck in enough air, though I don’t sound quite as bad as I once did. I have reached the point where I can get to or almost to the steps up before I stop to rest. Today, since I had started out at a faster pace, I had to stop at the almost point.
Bella has learned to routine now, when ever she sees someone coming down, she automatically moves off to the side. She stands waiting until they have passed and then starts up again.
Reaching the top I found that it was busier today than other days we had been up, but it was Friday. It is the start to the weekend and many were getting that early jump on things. Bella and I made the usual walk down to the overlook and I took the usual photos of the view. No matter how many times I see this, it is still an incredible sight. It takes a bit of my breath away and steals all those negative thoughts.
After we had enjoyed the view I walked with Bella over to where I could give her a drink out of the way of the others. There is one spot where a young sapling had been broken off, I could use that to anchor her leash while I got her water. While she and I drank, I found a seat and prepared to sit a spell. Bella is always ready to start back down immediately after getting her water and catching her breath. Today, we spent a few moments people watching.
While we sat there, the young boys and their dad made it to the top. As they stepped off that last step and saw the view one yelled out “You can see the whole world from up here!!” Everyone laughed, but not in ridicule, but in a moment of enjoying the enthusiasm of youth. As it got more crowded, Bella grew more ready to go, and so did I. It seemed that everyone up there, was with someone else. It was a reminder, but it didn’t bother me as badly as it would have before the hike up.
As Bella and I started toward the trail down, I happened to look off to the left. The image that I saw, the landscape stretching out before me, stopped me cold in my tracks.
To stand there, and look out and see just how vast the landscape is, and only from a limited perspective, grants a better understanding. The world before us, is huge, stretching out beyond where the eye can see. The sky above, seemingly endless and infinite as it reaches beyond the known universe. Looking at that, my feelings of being alone, are very small. With millions of people in the world, my loneliness is my own fault.
As Bella and I walked, taking our time, enjoying the day, I had plenty of time to think, ponder and come to conclusions. At least, conclusions for now.
I know, that as a Christian, I am not alone. I know, that our lives are not meant to be lived in fear. I know, that our lives have purpose. It has always been my dream to be an established writer, I feel that therein lies at least part of my talent. Another is in compassion. If I can combine the two, if I can write the words that would uplift and encourage, then that is what I should make my goal.
Today’s determination, is to shove all the procrastination aside, to make sure I have a good supply of coffee and begin to write the words that I hope to take book form. The words that will encourage not only myself, but any others who need to read them. Because who doesn’t need a bit of encouragement from time to time?