October Sixteenth, Fuel for conversations or fires?

Good day to you all. As I sit here, waiting on the morning call from mom, I’m considering the morning sky and whether I will go hiking today. As I enjoy my morning coffee I ponder the mysteries of the universe, or the topic of the day. Today’s, is conversation. Do you communicate well? Are your conversations mature and worthy of participating in or are they simply fuel for fires?

Television sitcoms are at times the stuff of nightmares when it comes to presenting conversation between couples. One has to ask the other a leading question, that the other no matter the response will fail and a fire is lit. When these first began, it may have held some humor, but over time, many have come to believe this is normal. I wonder, how many women are so insecure that they need validation from their partner. Unless you are genetically blessed or have wonderful plastic surgeons on call, looks will fade. Do not hang your relationships on appearances. Seek other avenues.

Seek to increase knowledge and understanding in topics of importance. Learning exercises the brain and offers great seed for conversation growth. But don’t let that learning come from a single source. When one piece of information intrigues you, do your research, make sure the sources agree. Besides, even though exercise may not be anyone’s favorite word, exercising the brain has been proven to help slow age related impairments.

Seek to learn a new hobby. This is something that covers such a wide range of activities the opportunities are nearly endless. There are outdoor events such as hiking, fishing, bike riding, whether motorized or pedal powered. Indoor could include painting, needle crafts in any form, creating something unique. But take time, to learn to enjoy what your partner likes so as to be able to discuss or at least listen while they tell of something that excites them. Understand that you might not enjoy hunting or fishing, but they do, and having someone who will listen to the best catch or the one that got away story is important to them.

Understand that some topics can be volatile. Politics for example. Now, if you can hold a heated conversation on the events that may currently be going on and still walk away friends, good on you. That is not always for many to accomplish. It is not a deal breaker if you hold opposing views, it is, if you cannot hold rational conversations about them. To be able to debate the various bullet points of an event, whether or not they are valid, are succeeding or failing, whether it is even a real issue, and walk away from it still speaking, shows maturity and understanding.

Conversation, is more than something important between partners. Conversation is important between family, friends, coworkers and strangers on the street. My son often chastises me, telling me I need to speak with more people. I inherited an odd sense of humor from my dad, not many are prepared for that and the many various facial expressions and reactions have caused me to have a hesitation in approaching folks I don’t know. The attempts at humor often falling flat around the unprepared. Still, I am learning to put a leash on that at least in the first meetings. It has become easier to greet people, to smile, though often behind a face covering at the moment, and respond to questions with honest answers. Find a neutral topic, a beautiful baby, a cute dog, glorious weather, can you make it up the three hundred plus steps at the state park without needing paramedics? With friends, the topics can of course be deeper. With people met under trying circumstances, conversations can be deeper. You have to be able to correctly judge the moment and whether the conversation can be held as mature, rational adults, and not merely fuel for greater fires.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.