I’m sitting here, enjoying my coffee and the display of bright sunlight as it fills the woods. From here I can see the contrasting light and darkness and watch the leaves spiraling downward. No longer those deep shades of green, but now showing the signs of Autumn and the coming explosion of colors. The changing of seasons that cannot be stopped. Changes that we know and understand are coming, just as in our lives there are always changes. But what a weird year this has been, filled with things one would never have expected.
Personally, I lost a job that I had held for just shy of thirty years. The running joke was that I would be there when most others were gone. That proved untrue and left me somewhat adrift. It might have been different had they not said when things picked up they would call me back. I might have handled the past months differently. Yet, here I am.
Being here seemingly adrift has had its vantage points. I’ve been able to watch the madness and confusion as it swirled about around me. In the forms of events close at hand, and those shared in news reports.
The fires in the western parts of the United States, where friends live, and long haul truck drivers I know must go through so I hear accounts of what is happening. Lives, homes, businesses, millions of acres burned.
Snow has already fallen in parts of the upper northwest while hurricane after hurricane has come into the gulf adding to the destruction of each proceeding storm.
There has been tornadoes, there have been earth quakes. North Carolina had an earthquake earlier in the summer that I actually felt. While here where I sit, it wasn’t one of those shake the earth and watch everything in the house fall off the walls, it was felt and it was an odd sensation.
Briefly we heard about killer hornets.
And of course, Covid-19, the virus that upended life as we understood it.
At every turn of the day, there was something new to spread fear and worries. Everyone taking the news in their own ways. Some make jokes, some prepare and do what they feel would be best for themselves and others, some deny, some take odds on what is next. My mother always said, ‘never ask what’s next? Never ask, what more can happen. Never ask, can it get any worse. It is as if you are inviting trouble.” After a year like we have had, those statements make more and more sense.
I don’t ask, what can happen next nor do I fear what ever may come. While losing my job was not expected, and I wasn’t prepared, I have been blessed during this time. Since my husband was called home, I have been more aware and careful in my spending doing my best to get bills paid off. Since I began unemployed my spending dropped even more. I avoided garden centers knowing my weakness for plants and flowers could destroy that resolve. I know, that in times of troubles, God does provide. My son and I have not gone without and the bills have been paid every month. Friends have contacted me through out the summer offering me plants from their own yards.
I’m sitting here now, watching the sunlight, knowing my unemployment is paid out. I know that decisions will need to be made on what’s next. I don’t ask nor do I fear what ever troublesome, worrisome thing that this year may toss at us next for we have made it through thus far. I don’t worry about the no money coming in. What I will do is watch for the answers to prays, the answers that always come in some form or other. I will walk away from the closed doors and stop knocking, and look for the one that is open and waiting.
Its been an odd year, filled with a multitude of unexpected, unplanned, unexplainable events. Sort of like one of those roller coaster rides with the steep climbs and drops that end in the loop de loop turns, only to start the climb again. You don’t know how fast or slow or even if the cars you are in will suddenly, inexplicably stop and leave you stranded, but you go anyway for the excitement. Well I don’t but you may. Still, that is this year, a wild adventure of a ride leaving you wondering what’s next, what’s around the next day break. Just don’t ask. Let’s just leave that for a surprise and have faith and trust that God will bring us through once again.