One of the things I do when I first get up in the morning, is scan the headlines of news articles. Its a sad thing that all of the top articles are those gloom and doom, end of the world, catastrophe things meant to instill fear. In my mind, the words, to create fear is to create control runs on a loop while reading down the page. Reading the source of the articles doesn’t help. There doesn’t seem to be a reputable source remaining, all are on the scare them badly train. Long gone are the times when we were given factual news meant to educate and inform. News that allowed the individual to come to their own conclusions and not the one that best serves and agenda. In all fairness though, I will say that somewhere in the articles there may be kernels of facts to be gleaned. Somewhere in the news reports, there may be threads of truth. Things that one must be diligent in their observations to uncover and comprehend. Not simply taking things for face value.
Sitting here as a single, sixty-three year old woman, I pay more attention now to what is going on than ever before. The comment that times have changed is a comment that is tossed out a lot. Yes, times have changed, they are always changing, that is how we evolve and grow. Or are supposed to evolve and grow. That doesn’t always happen. If it did, we wouldn’t still be arguing over race issues or equality issues or any of the other myriad things we are still fighting. So the truth is that technology changes, material things change, but humans seem stuck or in some cases digressing.
I have never been one to worry too much about tomorrow. Worry about getting lost on a trip, worry about finding a place I want to visit, worry about what people think of me thanks to an odd sense of humor, yes. Worry about what tomorrow may bring, not so much. Tomorrow is in one sense a concept, tomorrow is a thought and a dream. When the clock ticks over into what would have been tomorrow, it is now today, making tomorrow something to chase and dreamily long for.
Now I sit here, I scan headlines and hear soundbites of the news and I do wonder about what is coming for our world. I don’t fear it, the Christian I am, knows what I believe to be coming and understand that this is the birthing pains of that. As I wait for that day, I watch, read and listen. I seek the best ways to face what is being created around us.
My parents live next door to me. I see what this is doing to them. The fears, the concerns, the struggles brought on by not being able to go and do as they did before all this began. Their age trapping them inside and away from even the extended family they love dearly.
I sit here, jobless and currently without an income as I try to be there for them, yet knowing I can’t go on long like this. Wondering where a sixty-three year old woman can get a job that will be basically starting all over after having worked at the same industry for most of my life. Then I see headlines warning of another shut down coming. Still, it isn’t fear I feel, but a general pondering and consideration of options. All the while knowing I am in better shape than many, but the nightmare sound bites warn that could change quickly if this or that happens.
I could allow the nightmare sound bites to create feelings of fear, hopelessness, loss, dread. I could allow myself to seek a dark corner to hide in the hopes it will all pass over soon. What I do have, is faith that everything, no matter how crazy and out of control it seems, is in fact under control and will work out to the good and glory of a God I believe in.
So I will scan the headlines. I will be here to answer the three, four, five calls a day from mom, being there for her and dad when they have a need I can handle . I will listen to more than the sound bites on the news and gain understanding of what is going on around me. I will understand that there are those who seek to prevent actual growth and change in people; while there are those fighting to bring about that very growth and change. To face what is coming, to bring about a real change in the times, we have to be a light in the darkness. We can’t do that by arguing, fighting, insulting and degrading each other for who we are or what we believe. We become a light, by reaching out in kindness and compassion. We become a light by offering understanding. We become a light, by teaching each other through what was, what is, and what it is possible to become. Building each other up and not destroying. We become a light by seeing the differences that exist along with the similarities and still find ways to walk side by side on a rough and long journey.
I see the headlines, I see the news, I see what is coming, yet inside, I hold out the hope that we can if we so desire, create better than what we are doing now.
Words from The Dirt Road 