I have grown so accustomed to the falling acorns, I didn’t even hear the rain falling during the night.From the appearance of my yard, it has been falling for a while. Both my front and back yards look like swamp land. It would not surprise me to see an alligator wander by. The sky that I can see through the gaps in the tree canopy is a dreary grey, foretelling this to be a day long event. The weather prognosticators this time called it correctly. If allowed, this could be a seriously depressing day. As it is, over the months that I have been out of work, I have worked on my physical health, recently I have been working more on my mental and emotional well being.Today, will be one of those extra credit days.
I refuse to allow myself to sink into any form of sadness. Be it a mild case of the blues or full blown depression. There are too many ways to help oneself that does not include self medicating or prescribed drugs. I will acknowledge, that depression is an actual illness. It is imbalances in the brain that can be corrected with prescribed medications. There is no shame in that. I am one that who does their best to find alternative methods whenever possible.
I mentioned in my previous write about battling over thinking. Those same methods can be used in battling a blue day. It is a little more difficult to distract oneself from sadness alone, but I have managed it often. Not always in the best of ways, but in the end I battled through. The best way, is to have someone to talk with, ideally in person, but over the phone works and even a series of text messages or video calls help to a degree. Due to the social distancing mandates during the Covid-19 pandemic, gathering with others has been difficult. Many have been sentenced to solitary confinement in their homes, creating a bigger depression monster.
For me, as a person who tends to keep a lot inside, writing things out completely helps. Letting the words flow freely, honestly and in depth until everything within my dark state is on the page. If it is on a written page, in that one spiral notebook, I simply turn the page and leave it there. If I have done it on the computer, I will usually let the draft sit a while and then delete. Someone once told me that if it was written, it might as well be shared. It is true, that was how I felt at the moment of writing, but moments pass, online writings last into infinity and why have someone stumble across a writing much later and create undue concern? Why risk, putting a message of heartache and sadness out there where others with sensitive natures and big hearts may be made to worry or hurt over something they can do nothing about? But that is my thinking, for others, they may seek the thoughts and feedback of others and it may help them to rise from the flood that is overtaking their spirit. So whether you share, or write solely for yourself, either way works.
Even in my sad days, I am still a big kid at heart. I love animated movies and I love a good comedy. To laugh and laugh freely is a great feeling. It goes a long way to heal the hurting heart within.
While I will admit that when one is in a state of depression, it is difficult to concentrate on nearly anything. Yet, to pick up a well written book and to lose oneself in the adventures of the characters within, will help to make a path out of the darkness of spirit.
Any who know me, or have followed my writing, know I am a Christian. I know that within the pages of the Bible are many verses of comfort. Many that share of peace, strength, hope, and the power of prayer. The comfort of knowing, we are never alone, even when we feel it most.
Then of course, there is always the pour a cup of coffee, wrap up in a blanket, sit on the porch or near a window and simply allow the rhythmic magic of the falling rain to wash away all thoughts and simply hear the music and feel the magic of healing.