October Ninth in the year of Disappointments, What’s one more?

Good morning all- the sky outside my windows various shades of grey, warning of the rain to come. The woods behind my house not the deep greens of summer but definitely showing signs of Autumn as the leaves lighten and change into their Kaleidoscope of colors before dropping to the ground beneath. A hike through the woods now sounds as if I am strolling through a bowl of some flake cereal. It reminds me of my brother telling me I sounded like a herd of elephants stomping through the woods scaring his deer away.

This has been a strange and different year. I thought I would work up until retirement for the same company. If I had made it to August first, I would have had thirty years there. Unfortunately, Covid-19 prevented that. But that disappointment, gave me the opportunity to reclaim my yard. Most of which had been neglected for much too long. In the process I uncovered several venomous snakes that thankfully were more interested in getting away than striking out.

Once the yard was cleared and reclaimed, I have not came across any snakes. I have also been able to be here for mom and dad. The scales at first heavy on the side of disappointment, corrected with the success of yard work and for mom and dad. I can handle that.

The virus also caused many events to be cancelled, including a charity event I try also to participate in to various levels. That is Relay for Life. As a cancer survivor and one who has lost several family members (including my brother) to cancer, I try to help in the fight against it. Even though the main event was cancelled, I was still able to raise almost the amount I had set as a goal. Not the same but still okay.

The government paid extra in unemployment for a while. I did everything in my power to be as frugal with the money as possible. I made sure that my purchases were necessary and not frugal. Ever since that extra money stopped, the elected have gone back and forth over more help and as to whether it is needed. I do blame the media for a large part of the confusion because its a constant barrage of ‘you’re getting help’ then ‘ no help is coming’. Its a bad tennis match of reports and one that I’ve dealt with by reading less of the articles and working toward being as financially fit as possible. Its been a frustration, but one that taught me balance.

A few months back after yet another lecture from my son on how I need to get out more, I joined a Jeep club. I had in the past seen notifications about the group and their charity work and I thought that would be a good thing to take part in. I sent a request to join and was quickly accepted. Then, even though they had several events afterward, I didn’t attend. When it comes to making excuses, I can be a master. My Jeep isn’t an “iconic” Jeep. I don’t know how to get to where the event is being held. I don’t know anyone. My son is a patient person, but even his wears thin after a while. He countered each excuse with calm reason and even introduced me to a friend of his who is part of the group. I even screwed up the courage to attend an event that was near by. Later James accompanied me to an event that was in a nearby town. One to get me to go, two so he could visit with his friends as well.

A few days later I convinced James that my Jeep needed some character, and Star was born.

I felt more a part. Star still is not an iconic Jeep, but she’s now a Compass with character. I was ready for the next event. There were two scheduled for this coming weekend. Sadly, the remnants of Hurricane Delta will bring a lot of rain to the area which has caused the cancellation of both events.

I will be upfront in saying that it is largely incorrect of me to say that because my Jeep isn’t a Wrangler or Grand Cherokee, I would not be welcomed. I was accepted right away even though I drive a Compass. Its a Jeep group, all Jeeps welcome. The problem was in my head. My Jeep did not need the decals, it was in my head, but she does look cute. The world will not end, because two events were cancelled, but the disappointment is real.

The point is, with each disappointment that this year has tossed at me, with each frustration and challenge, I have found a way to get beyond it. I have not allowed it to bury me and send me into hiding. Even though a virus has had a large portion of us in various forms of seclusion, there are ways for most to find ways to socialize. I have family close, some who have needed me, some of whom I have needed. Social media is one way, but it isn’t always the best way. You see many out having a great time and wish to be able to do the same. Due to various reasons that isn’t always possible, but we can find alternatives. We can’t go to the beach, but we can go to a near by lake. We can’t go to a restaurant, but we can have a picnic. We can’t go to a large sporting event, but we can go fishing, or hiking, or bike riding. We can’t gather in large groups, but technology is giving us ways to virtually gather. I am blessed with friends with whom I can have long conversations about anything.

The important thing is not to allow disappointments to overcome you. Not to allow them to drag you down into a pit of despair. There are always ways, to take a disappointment and turn it into an accomplishment.

About rebecca s revels

A writer, a photographer, a cancer survivor. An adventurer of the mild kind, a lover of the simple pleasures such as long walks and chocolate. A Christian unashamed of my faith and a friend who is dependable and will encourage readily. Author of three self published books with more waiting to find their way to paper. An advocate of good things, a fighter against wrongs.
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